Nights are Long While Waiting to get Married
by The-Missing-Paige
Summary: Somehow, a normal day of watching TV leads to Edward getting engaged. But with Roy as the groom, getting to the wedding day might be a bit of a challenge. Sequel to Nights are Long on a Road Trip.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, or any related characters.**

**So this is going to be the sequel to Nights are Long on a Road Trip (hence the title ;p). If you're not into that, just ignore the references to the road trip; this can easily be just another wedding fic, set in modern times.**

**For reference, if you haven't read the previous story or are ignoring it, Ed has no automail and Al is human.**

* * *

Edward might have been a bit of a hard ass, but he could also be a softie. And now, walking around his and Roy's house was one of those times. He couldn't help it; every time he caught sight of a calendar, he smiled.

It had been almost a year now since he and Roy had gotten together on that road trip. Ed found it hard to believe—it felt like no time had passed at all—but the calendar was proof. Any now, approaching their anniversary, Edward couldn't stop himself from reminiscing a bit.

Everything had been pretty much perfect with Roy—sure, like every couple, they had their fights (explosive ones, at that), but they'd never come close to breaking up. Ed had never even slept in a different room than Roy. They'd slipped from hooking up on a road trip to being in a real, functioning relationship without any real bumps.

Of course, it wasn't as easy for everyone around them. About three months in, Alphonse gave up and got an apartment down the street (which Ed and Roy helped fund, actually), saying he couldn't stand walking in on them anymore. Really, it had only happened once or twice, but that had been too much for Al and Edward respected that. They were still close, so all was well.

Then there was the military. When Roy and Ed had told Lieutenant Hawkeye, she'd nearly passed out in shock. That was fair enough; after all, for Roy to be into guys at all must have come as quite the surprise, let alone being with Edward. But she'd accepted it in the end. They hadn't even gotten in trouble at work, though Ed had to be transferred to a different team so that he and Roy didn't see each other and get distracted during the day. That was the only reason why Edward was even home at the moment; he got off a solid hour before Roy did.

Ed was snapped out of his reminiscing by the familiar sound of his show coming on. He bounded back into the living room, snatching his bag of popcorn on the way out of the kitchen, and bounced into place on the couch just as it started.

He had to admit, he was almost glad he'd been transferred, so he could come home and watch this before Roy got back. Edward was more than open with his boyfriend, but this…this was a serious guilty pleasure. He just couldn't bring himself to own up about it. Hell, even _Alphonse_ didn't know about his secret fascination, and he'd lived with Ed for literally forever.

This way, with Roy gone, Edward didn't have to sneak around and record his show. He could just relax on the couch and get lost in _Say Yes to the Dress_.

Ed wasn't quite sure why he liked the show so much. Okay, that was a lie; he knew why, but he couldn't say where his enjoyment for weddings (and especially those wonderful gowns) came from. Not that it mattered; he was more than happy to just zone out to the sound of brides squealing about their big day…

* * *

The way Roy's house was set up, you could see the TV first thing when you opened the door. So when Edward heard the doorknob turning, the click of it opening, he went into panic mode. Ed scrambled for the remote, spilling his left over popcorn kernels as he grabbed it. No time to change the channel—he pressed the off button, then turned around and smiled wide, like he hadn't just been interrupted.

"You're home a little early today," Ed managed, heart still thumping from almost being caught.

Roy raised his eyebrows. "What were you just watching?"

Shit. "Um…nothing?"

Edward watched as Roy slowly took off his boots, his gloves, his jacket… "Ed, give me the remote," he demanded, voice deceivingly sweet.

Clutching the object to his chest, Ed curled up in a ball. "No, I don't think I will."

He knew it was coming—Roy walked over, still very calm…until, he pounced, wrapping his arms around Edward to try to get to the remote. Ed curled tighter, but Roy was stronger than he was. The man unfurled him and spun him over, pinning Edward on his back, remote still clutched in his hand. But Ed wasn't about to go down that easily; he brought up his legs and pushed at Roy's stomach, trying to keep the man at least far enough away so that he couldn't reach the remote.

Unfortunately, Roy had seen this one coming. As Ed pushed up, the man spread his legs, so that instead of pushing him away, Edward was effectively drawing him in. Roy kissed him lightly on the lips, victorious, and pried the remote out of Ed's fingers.

"Please," Edward whispered, mortified. "I'm seriously begging you, do not turn that on."

"Look, as much as I like wrestling with you, I have to know what you were up to." The man paused. "You weren't watching porn, were you?" Roy asked, actually looking curious.

Ed's face flamed up. "No!"

"Oh, you _so_ were." Roy grinned like a cat. "It won't hurt you to share." And he pressed the on button.

Unluckily enough, _Say Yes to the Dress_ was still on. Closing, yes, but Edward knew his boyfriend had just seen some white, obvious wedding gowns…

"Well," Roy laughed after a heartbeat. "It certainly isn't porn."

Edward smacked him on the arm. "That's _not_ what I was watching," he tried desperately. "You must have hit the channel button too, by mistake."

"Nice try, Ed. Admit it, you were watching a wedding show."

Hearing it said like that, so flippantly, made it all the worse. Ed's blush only intensified, and though he didn't say anything, that was answer enough. "I knew it!' Roy crowed. "That's too cute."

He couldn't have heard that right. "What?"

The man above him laughed, kissing his forehead. "You're fucking adorable, you know that? Only you could watch wedding shows and still be a tough kid."

"Shut up!" Ed whined, slapping Roy's arm again. He still didn't move, not that Edward was exactly complaining.

"So what got you in to this?" his boyfriend asked curiously.

"We are _so_ not having this discussion," Edward groaned, throwing his arm over his eyes.

"I think we are."

"Are not."

"If we do, I'll keep wrestling with you." To accentuate this offer, Roy pressed down against Ed.

"That's not fair," Edward breathed.

"Yeah, well, you should know by now I fight dirty. So really, why were you watching a wedding show?"

Ed sighed in defeat. "Fine. I just…I think it's sweet. The idea that two people could love each other so much that they want to have a big ceremony, and make it a legal thing, and really promise themselves to each other…for forever. I'm a loser, okay?"

"Ed, that doesn't make you a loser," Roy responded gently, nuzzling the side of his neck. "It's actually pretty sweet…but are you sure that's the _only_ reason? After all, you weren't watching the weddings themselves—you were looking at the _dresses_."

Another blush. It had been a year and Roy still had the unique ability to make Edward's face go red with just a few words. "What is this, an interrogation?"

A soft response against his ear now. "I'm just wondering."

Ed paused, then gave in. Really, it wasn't like he had much dignity to lose at that point. "Okay, you got me. I _might_ think that the dresses are quite possibly the most gorgeous things ever. Maybe."

Roy started laughing hard against him. Edward scowled. "Didn't you say we could keep wrestling, now?" he asked to distract the man, voice immediately becoming a big husky.

And it worked.

* * *

Even as Roy kissed the boy beneath him, he was thinking. He'd somehow never caught Ed watching his little show before, and what the blonde had had to say about it was…interesting. Roy had never realized how strongly Edward felt about marriage.

That slightly dreamy look in his boyfriend's eyes hadn't been lost on him. And what Ed had said about loving someone that much. Roy had to wonder if the blonde thought he wasn't quite as in love with him as married couples were with each other. And that wasn't acceptable.

To Roy, living together like they did was pretty much the same thing as being married, just without all the fanfare. But if it meant that much to Edward…well, Roy wasn't going to deny him. He loved the boy more than enough to marry him, if that was what would make him happy.

Roy started planning.

* * *

**Because I love ****_Say Yes to the Dress_**** and see no reason why Ed wouldn't like it too. I'm not sorry.**

**Hope you enjoyed it, and let me know what you think about this being the sequel! If you're not a fan, I want to know, because I might write an alternate sequel if too many people don't like this one. **


	2. Chapter 2

**My apologies, but the first chapter of this story was originally incorrectly uploaded. It's fixed now, but if this continuation doesn't quite make sense, chances are you read the wrong version of chapter one, so you might have to go back and read the right one. Again, sorry!**

* * *

Roy took a deep breath, smoothing his hair back. It didn't make any sense that he would be nervous; of _course_ Ed would say yes. Maybe it was just the fact that he knew the boy wouldn't be the only one watching…

But it was too late to back down now. He'd pulled countless strings, and now, on his and Edward's one year anniversary, Roy was waiting for the cameraman to show up. As soon as he got here, it was time.

Roy ignored the stares of his team as he leaned against his office door, staring down the hallway. He glanced up, checking the clock—still plenty of time before Ed's show started.

There! Movement in the hallway, the cameraman juggling his equipment. Roy hurried over to help him, earning himself a muttered, "Thanks." He turned to his team, who had all stopped what they were doing to watch.

"I have some business to attend to in my office. _Do not_ interrupt." Satisfied, Roy opened his office door, ushered the cameraman in, and closed it again, being sure to lock the knob behind him.

"How long 'til it's time?" he asked.

The cameraman checked his watch. "Ten minutes or so. I'll get this all set up, you just prepare yourself." He flashed a smile in Roy's direction. "Nervous?"

"Yes, oddly enough," he murmured in response, standing in front of his desk. "I mean, I know he'll say yes, but…"

"Doing it on live TV is a little hard, huh?"

Roy nodded, scowling slightly. It shouldn't be this difficult, this nerve wracking. But still, it was. He turned around, grabbing a cup from his desk and taking a gulp of water. The last thing he needed was to croak out a proposal. He fingered the box in his pocket gently, being sure for the thousandth time that it was still there. Of course, the ring wouldn't just disappear, but Roy couldn't help checking.

Just then, his door clicked oddly and swung open to reveal Breda crouching down, having picked the lock, surrounded by the rest of the team. The man raised his hands up. "Now don't get mad, but you can't just bring a camera in here and expect us not to wonder."

Behind him, Hawkeye nodded. "Sir, this is a serious breach of protocol."

The cameraman snorted and looked at Roy. "Six minutes to show time."

"Show time?" Havoc inquired, grinning devilishly. "What exactly is going on in here, hmm?"

Roy brought a hand to his forehead, thinking quickly. It would take too much time to get the team out of his office, curious as they were, and he'd probably get a bit ruffled in the process. His face reddened slightly as he realized he would have to own up

Roy sighed. "Look, I'm…I'm proposing to Edward, alright?" This announcement was met with several open mouths, two mutters of, "Damn," and a single squeal that he suspected came from Falman. "So if you all could just let me get to it, that would be great—"

"Hell no!" Havoc shouted, cigarette falling from his lips in his excitement. "You can't expect us to miss this, we want to watch!" Mutters of agreement.

A quick glance at the clock: three minutes. Fuck. "Fine!" Roy hissed. "But don't say a _word_. I've been planning this for two weeks, you wouldn't believe the fuss I had to make, and if you fuck it up I will _flay_ you."

Hawkeye recovered from his speech first, standing at attention and saluting. "Sir, yes, sir!" She was quickly copied by the rest of them, each of them smiling as they gave him their support.

Roy exhaled slowly and turned to face the camera.

"One minute," the cameraman announced, ignoring the cluster of people crowding behind him. "Remember, look at the camera; pretend it's your guy. You don't want to be looking to the side. You got this."

Roy must have been quite a mess if the _cameraman_ had to reassure him. Nevertheless, he nodded, taking the advice to heart, and stared into the center of the lens, slipping his hand into his pocket.

"And three, two, one…"

* * *

"Edward?"

Ed almost had a heart attack when he heard Roy's voice. What, he was home early _again_? _Very_ early, too, what was that all about? He walked into the living room, calling out, "You know, you could just tell me you're going to get off instead of scaring the living—"

Roy wasn't in the room, not physically. But he was staring right at Edward through the screen of their TV, broadcasting from his office at Headquarters. The man looked almost stiff, despite his casual pose with one hand on his desk and the other in his pocket, and his hair was slicked back (which was, admittedly, very attractive). Ed's mouth hung open, slack, as Roy continued to speak.

"I'm going to give you a moment to make sure you're in the room, because I have something very important I want to say—well, ask—and I need you to pay attention, Ed." On the screen, Roy smiled sincerely, but his eyes gave away his nerves.

Edward sat down on the couch slowly, never taking his eyes from the TV, heart speeding up. It wasn't lost on him that today was their anniversary, but whatever this was that Roy had cooked up was more than he had expected.

"Ed, I'm not going to lie, love is a really new concept for me. I've only had a year with you to experience it, but that was enough to tell me what I need to know: that I'm never going to want anyone else. There's no way I could ever love anyone else the same way I love you. I—" the man broke off, gave a nervous chuckle. "I want to spend forever with you, Ed."

Edward tried to control his breathing, a hand coming up to his mouth. This was so…unlike Roy. It wasn't like the man couldn't be romantic, but saying something like that…and on TLC, just before _Say Yes to the Dress_ came on…well, it was more than a little strange. Ed tried not to let his thoughts run away, but he couldn't help it. This sounded an awful lot like a—

"This is live, Ed, so just…call me with your answer." On screen, Roy took a deep breath and got down on one knee, the camera following him. Edward started to hyperventilate as he pulled a velvet box out of his pocket, opening it up to reveal a ring.

"Edward Elric…will you marry me?"

A sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob escaped Ed's lips. He jumped up, running to grab the phone, happy tears beginning to run down cheeks that were aching with the force of his smile. He misdialed twice in his haste, and finally, finally the phone began to ring, echoed on the TV. Edward sprinted back into the living room, almost falling down as he watched Roy answer.

"Ed?"

"Yes," he tried, but all that came out was air. He couldn't breathe, he was so ecstatic, so excited. On the screen, Roy's face turned to concern.

"Ed?" the man asked again. "Are you okay?"

"Yes!" he said again, with much more success. "Yes, yes, yes!" Edward couldn't stop repeating the word, laughing and crying all at the same time. "Of course I'll marry you!"

Roy's face lit up as he stared at the camera, and a muffled cheering came from somewhere off screen. "I'm coming home, Ed. I love you."

"I love you too!" He watched as Roy hung up and waved at the camera before fading off. Edward fell onto the couch, hugging a pillow. Had that really just happened? He was—he was _engaged_!

Ed wiped his hands impatiently across his face, smearing his tears, and picked up the phone. He just _had_ to call Alphonse.

* * *

Roy sagged, laughing in relief as the cameraman signaled that he was off. He'd done it! He'd _really_ done it! He was going to marry Edward…

He didn't get to think long, because suddenly he was at the center of a massive group hug—something distinctly out of character for his team, but he couldn't blame them for being caught up in the moment.

"Alright, alright, let me go!" He pushed a quietly weeping Fuery gently to the side. "Thank you," Roy said sincerely, turning towards the cameraman.

"Hey man, no problem. I'm happy for ya."

Roy nodded, then looked at the box in his hand. "Lieutenant, do you mind escorting this young man out? I think it's about time I gave Ed his ring."

* * *

**So I almost cried writing this, sap that I am. Someone who reads this better be right there with me. **


	3. Chapter 3

"C'mon, pick up, pick up, pick up!" Ed chanted, pacing in little bounces around the house, too keyed up to stay still.

"Brother?"

Alphonse had scarcely gotten the word out before Edward was shouting. "He proposed! Al, _Roy proposed_! I'm getting married!"

There was a light laugh on the other end of the line. "I know, Brother. I was in on it—he wanted me to tape the proposal so you guys would have a memento."

A little put out, Ed giggled nevertheless. "You seriously already knew? And here I was hoping you'd be all surprised. Ah, I just can't _take it_! I'm so excited!" A thought occurred to him. "Wait…if you were in on it, then Roy had to tell you which station to tape…"

Alphonse chuckled. "Yeah. Pretty interesting show choice, Brother. A little…girly. Not that I'm surprised."

"Shut up!" Even with Al down the street rather than in the room, Edward was overly aware of his blush. "It's not girly—and what do you mean you're not surprised!?"

"Look, as hardcore as you like to act, Brother, you're such a softie."

"Am not," Ed pouted.

"You're _pouting_, Brother," Alphonse said gently, though the effect was pretty much ruined by his snickering. Edward was prevented from continuing the argument as Al kept going. "But that's beside the point—I have to know, did you cry?"

Edward grinned sheepishly, the expression melting into his voice. "Maybe a little. I was just so surprised, you know? I didn't think he'd ever be someone who would want to actually get _married_…and it was so sweet, how he did it, too."

He could hear Al's smile. "You've got quite the man there, Brother, I'll give you that."

Another giggle. This was getting ridiculous, but Ed just couldn't get rid of his bubbly attitude at the moment. "And what about you? Got a special girl yet?"

"You know I don't, Brother. We saw each other last week and you asked the same question."

"Well, a lot can happen in a week! And I'm curious—plus I wouldn't be surprised if you kept it to yourself until you thought it was serious."

"Kind of like how you didn't tell me you were gay?" Alphonse teased.

"That's different." Edward didn't really know _how_ it was different, but was saved from having to defend his statement by the sound of the front door opening. "He's here!" he squealed. "Gottagobye!" The last words blurred into an unintelligible sound, but he was sure Al got it. He hung up and tossed the phone to the side, dashing into the living room.

Roy was standing just inside the closed front door, smiling wide. As soon as Ed rounded the corner, he opened his arms, and Edward (of course) threw himself at the man. A little too hard, maybe—Roy ended up being pushed against the door, but he didn't seem to mind, laughing and wrapping his arms around Ed's waist.

Edward couldn't stop smiling, couldn't stop _laughing_, and those silly tears were coming back again. He tiptoed up to kiss Roy, and once he started, he just couldn't stop, not until he was gasping for air.

As he tried to collect himself, Roy pulled away from him gently and, once again, got down on one knee and produced that wonderful, little blue velvet box.

"Stop it," Ed whispered shakily, still all smiles. "You're going to make me cry."

"Excellent—as long as it's in a good way," Roy answered. It didn't escape Edward's notice that the man was a little misty-eyed himself as he opened up the box and took the ring out, pulling Ed's hand to him. "I know you already said yes, but—again, will you marry me?"

Edward laughed breathlessly, using his free hand to wipe at his eyes. "What, you think I'll have changed my mind in ten minutes? Of course I will!"

And with that, Roy slipped the ring onto his finger, not pausing a beat before he stood and kissed Ed again, hard, over and over. Finally he slowed, and Edward leaned back just far enough to admire his new ring. The band was pure, bright silver, and in the middle were three clear, sparkling gems. The ring sat nicely on the fine line between feminine and masculine, with the stones just a little too obvious for a traditional man's ring, and the band a little too thick to be ladylike. Ed smiled.

"You like it?" Roy asked, watching him and raising a hand to push Edward's bangs back.

Ed looked up at him, eyes shining. "Yeah, you could say that." He poked Roy teasingly. "It's—ugh, this is going to sound so silly—it's _beautiful_!"

Roy laughed and grabbed Edward's hand, interlacing their fingers together. "I'm glad you like it—those are real diamonds, by the way. I have to admit, I was a little nervous—I was all for getting you a woman's ring, but the jeweler talked me out of it."

Rolling his eyes, Ed looked at Roy curiously. "I do have to ask—what made _you_ ask? Don't get me wrong, I'm—I've never been this excited in my _life_! But I never thought you'd _want_ to be married."

The man shrugged. "When I caught you watching that show, you started talking about marriage like it was the best thing in the world. I could tell it meant a lot to you, so I thought I'd go for it."

At this, Edward pulled back, just a little, forehead scrunching up. "I don't want this if you don't want it too," he said slowly.

Roy shook his head. "You misunderstand me. I wasn't lying when I said I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you—I _love_ you, Ed. More than anything. All I'm saying is that seeing how excited marriage got you was like the final push."

Reassured, Edward nodded, his smile coming back effortlessly. "We're getting married," he stated simply, unable to hold back a giggle.

Roy's grin actually rivaled his. "Yep."

A spike of excitement suddenly had Ed bouncing again. "This is going to be _great_!" he squealed. "Ah, but there's so much to _do_! We have to pick a date, a place—do you think we should have a theme? That'll affect the other decisions…and we have to decide who all to invite and how in the world we're going to control everyone, I mean you and I have both seen how Jean can get when he gets a little drunk, and we'll have to set up decorations, and—oh! Reception! That means we'll have to choose the music and the food and everything—that reminds me, the cake! And then of course we'll have to get tuxedos—"

He was abruptly cut off by Roy's hand over his mouth, the man laughing as he silenced Ed.

* * *

Roy placed a hand over the boy's mouth, unable to keep himself from chuckling. But even though he was laughing, there was just a little thing bothering him. He hadn't been able to keep up with most of Edward's mile-an-hour speaking, but the last thing had caught him.

Tuxedos.

Of course—that was only natural. He was a guy, Ed was a guy; guys wore tuxedos to weddings. But all the same, that statement somehow came as a surprise to Roy. He had gotten this silly picture in his head of the blonde in a wedding dress, and had become oddly attached to it.

As his laughter gradually stopped, Roy lifted his hand from Edward's mouth, which was turned upward in a sheepish smile, and pushed the thought from his mind. "Breathe, Ed. We'll have plenty of time to do all that later."

"I know," the boy answered. "I just can't help it, I'm so excited!"

Roy's heart thumped at the expression on the blonde's face. He pulled Edward close, holding him as tight as he possibly could without Ed choking. "I know," he whispered in the boy's ear. "Me too."

* * *

**How is it that writing this is making me more teary than my fics that are actually sad.**

**Who's with Roy? Who wants Ed in a dress?**


	4. Chapter 4

"Ed, if you don't stop bouncing like that, you're going to give me a boner," Roy stage whispered into his ear. Edward snorted a laugh and made a concentrated effort to stop the movement, snuggling nicely into Roy's lap instead.

"Sorry, can't help it. I'm excited."

Alphonse, across the room, made a face. "See, this kind of thing is the reason I moved out. Would it kill you to sit in your own chair, Brother?"

Ed grinned. "Quite possibly."

Throwing up his hands in defeat, Al nevertheless kept complaining. "I swear, you two are the only couple that could ever be in the honeymoon phase for this long. When are you going to start getting tired of each other?"

Head resting on Edward's shoulder, Roy hummed in thought. "I dunno, Al. What do you think, Ed?"

Edward barely contained a giggle. To be honest, his elation was starting to worry him—he was supposed to be a tough guy, for crying out loud. Oh well. "Maybe after our _actual_ honeymoon?"

"Holy shit," Roy breathed. "I just realized we get to have one of those." Ed could actually feel the devilish grin on the man's face. "This is gonna be _so_ much fun."

"Ugh!" Alphonse clapped his hands to his ears. "Look, if we don't get to the topic at hand, I'm leaving. Actually, I don't even know why I'm here. You wanted to get married, now planning the whole thing is _your_ problem."

"Oh, come on, Al," Ed pouted. "I want your input. Soooo…theme. We need to think of a theme for the wedding, or else we can't really plan anything else out. So…any suggestions?"

"Rainbow," Al said immediately. For someone who was less than eager to be a part of this, he sure was quick. Edward gave him a look.

"Why _rainbow_?" Roy asked, sounding mildly put off. "It's so…flamboyant."

"Duh, gay pride," Alphonse answered. "And you say that like Brother sitting there bouncing all over your lap _isn't_ flamboyant." Ed grabbed a pillow and tossed it at his brother.

"That's just rude."

"I was kidding, Brother."

Edward groaned, leaning back against Roy. "This is _serious_, Al."

Roy probably should have known better than to say it, especially after what Alphonse had just come up with. But he said it anyway. "Princess."

Ed turned on his lap to look at him. "Not you_ too_! Come on, don't joke around!"

Grinning sheepishly, Roy tightened his hold on the blonde's waist. "Sorry. It just seems like a typical wedding theme, you know? It just kind of came out." Should he chance it? Roy continued the thought. "Plus, the thought of you in a ball gown is _way_ too perfect to pass up."

That was the real issue, of course. Roy didn't honestly mind what theme they had, as long as Ed was happy. But he was still rooting for the boy in a dress. Something inside him just couldn't get rid of that…delightful mental picture.

Edward slapped him on the arm. "You're ridiculous! Please, can we take this seriously?"

"Sorry, sorry," Roy said again, turning to kiss Ed on the cheek. "Won't happen again."

Satisfied, Edward turned himself back so that he was facing Alphonse, who was just getting over a fit of giggles from Roy's suggestion. This was absurd. It shouldn't be this hard to pick a theme. Ed almost groaned aloud at the thought of having to deal with specific decorations.

"How about doing a season?" Al managed after a heartbeat.

Hmm. That wasn't a bad idea. "See, that's a good one. Hmm, I'm not much for fall—I mean, I like the season, but I'm not sure about all those earthy colors."

Alphonse's remaining chuckles disappeared as he stared at Ed, expressionless. "I can't believe those words just came out of your mouth. I think I'm going to have to start referring to you as 'Sister.'"

Scowling, Edward leaned sideways to grab another pillow, and chucked it at his brother. "Don't be so sexist, Al! Just because I'm a guy doesn't mean I can't care about color schemes!"

"Okay, okay, jeez, a bridezilla already…"

Ed just stared at Al for a moment, having run out of things to throw. "If you make one more crack about my gender I swear I will sneak into your apartment and fuck Roy on your table."

"Sounds good to me," the man in question whispered in his ear as Alphonse recoiled.

"Yeah, you're good, Brother." Al shook his head, as though trying to get the thought out. "No more questions."

Grinning victoriously, Edward went back to the idea of seasons. "Good. Okay, so fall's out."

"So is summer," Roy put in. "Tuxedo's are way too hot as it is. Even with an indoor wedding, I'd have to start stripping."

"And that would be a bad thing?" Ed murmured, a Cheshire grin growing on his face.

"Brother!" Alphonse warned. "Don't do this to me. I'm trying to retain as much innocence as possible."

"Yeah right," Edward snorted. Still, he stopped that train of thought. "Really, the only season that would be great would be winter, aside from the cold and all. But it's already July and there's no way we could put together a wedding by winter. We'd have to wait a whole year and then some…I don't think I want to do that, even if the ice and snow would be a great atmosphere…" Edward debated for a moment longer, chewing on his lip, and shook his head. "No, nothing seasonal."

The room was surprisingly silent as everyone thought, Ed fidgeting lightly on Roy's lap as he thought. The movement earned him a warning prod in the side. Oops.

"Oh!" he suddenly blurted, almost jumping off of Roy's lap in his excitement. "What about stars?"

"Stars?" Al asked, incredulous. "Isn't that a little…kiddish?"

"Not if you do it right," Roy answered, thoughtful. Ed barely suppressed a laugh as he started bouncing again, unable to contain his excitement. "Not the shape so much as the night sky, you know?"

Edward nodded , squealing now. He could picture it exactly, all the glowing and shimmering centerpieces. "Yes! With the lights and everything, it'd be _gorgeous_."

Now even Alphonse was imagining it. "And everything else could be blue and silver to match…"

Ed couldn't resist sticking out his tongue. "And you made fun of me for worrying about colors. But you're right, that'd be _perfect_! Roy?"

"I like it," the man decided, pressing his face gently into Edward's neck.

Ed clapped. "That's that, then! And the time of year doesn't matter, this way, so we can choose whatever date we want."

"That was easier than I'd thought it was going to be…" Alphonse said, surprised. "Honestly, I was thinking this would be an all day event."

"Your snarkiness is getting old, Al," Edward sighed. "Don't be so jealous, 'kay?"

His brother snorted. "What, jealous of you sitting on an old pervert's lap?"

Roy twisted around so that he could glare at Alphonse. "I take offence to that."

Al laughed. "Oh, you know I think you guys work. Deep down. I'm just saying, Brother's only seventeen."

Ed waved him off. "Like that matters. My birthday's in February, so I'll be eighteen for the wedding, and that's all that's actually important."

"Besides," Roy put in, sounding just a little pouty. "I'm only thirty. It's not like I'm old enough to be his _grandfather_ or anything, cut me some slack."

"And," Edward added, turning slightly to look at Roy. "He looks like he's twenty five at most. So realistically, it's only an eight year difference at the moment, which isn't that bad."

"I think you're math's a little off, Brother." Al's coughed reply was ignored in light of Roy's mouth pressing against Ed's neck in a little thank you. Edward, seeing Alphonse's uncomfortable glance, grinned.

"Thanks for helping with the theme, Al, but…I think you'd better go before we damage your eyes."

His brother nodded and sped out the door. Ed laughed, and shifted to meet Roy's lips.

**I was doing a million things while writing this. Hence the randomness. Mostly a pointless chapter, but I kinda like it anyway, and we got a few things established, sooo...hope you enjoy ;A;**


	5. Chapter 5

"Roy, hurry up!" Ed whined from couch. Though he didn't turn around, Roy could imagine the boy's pouting face.

"Just a minute, you're the one who told me to look around for venues, you know…" Roy turned his attention back to the computer screen, which he'd been staring at for the better part of three hours. He heard the blonde shift, and a pillow bounced off his chair. "You know, Ed, you've been throwing pillows a lot lately."

"I wouldn't have to if you would just get over here. Besides, it's much easier than getting up to hit you."

Still scrolling, Roy murmured back, "You know, I'm pretty sure that's considered domestic abuse. Especially since I'm just doing what you asked. I should get some counseling."

Another pillow. Roy grinned to himself. "But we picked out the places we wanted to visit _half an hour ago_!" Edward insisted. "What are you even _doing_?"

Oops. Truth be told, Roy wasn't still looking at venues—they _had_ finished that up quite a while ago—but instead was browsing through a catalogue of wedding wear. Specifically, the dress section. Hey, he could dream. He sighed theatrically and made a show of closing the laptop before standing up. "Okay, okay, I'm coming."

Grinning with his victory, Ed raised up just slightly from his horizontal position, barely letting Roy sit down before placing his head in his lap. Part of Roy wanted to tease the boy—but he was just too adorable. "Alright, what movie are we watching?" he asked, leaning over carefully to grab the massive bowl of popcorn from the coffee table.

"Captain America," Edward answered promptly.

"_Why_?" Roy asked, surprised, a handful of popcorn frozen halfway to his mouth as the boy on his lap grabbed the remote. It wasn't that he had anything against Captain America, but Ed wasn't typically into that kind of thing, claiming it was too fake.

The boy shrugged, his shoulder nudging Roy's thigh. "I dunno, I was kinda in the mood for a superhero movie. I mean, yeah, most of the fight scenes are bullshit…but I can still enjoy it if I want to. As for why Captain America specifically—well, if I'm going to see a superhero, he'd better be in tight pants."

Roy almost choked on his first mouthful of popcorn. "I can't believe what I'm hearing."

"What? He's got a nice ass."

"You're going to make me jealous."

Edward turned briefly, teasing eyes locking onto Roy's while the opening track played in the background. "Don't worry; you've got a _much_ nicer chest than he does."

Satisfied, Roy let his hand wander down, giving Ed's rear a quick squeeze. "And don't you forget it."

* * *

Edward walked up and down the hallway aimlessly, waiting for Roy to finish getting ready to go. Even though he'd read it a hundred times (the paper, new last night, was already wrinkled), Ed checked their list: several halls and ballrooms, one club that actually seemed kind of classy, an old estate house, and an arbor. No churches; neither he nor Roy felt like getting married in a church. Or by a priest, for that matter—they were planning on getting a minister that was firmly distanced from that religious crap.

Finally Roy stepped out of their room, spinning his car keys around and around his finger. "Shall we go, then?" The man held out his arm.

Snorting lightly, Edward nevertheless looped his arm with Roy's as they walked out of the house and into the car.

"Where to first?" Ed asked, clicking his seatbelt in place. Roy held his hand out for the list, scanning the addresses briefly before handing it back.

"How about we start with places for the actual wedding first?"

"Sounds good; the reception should be easier anyway, and we can base that off of where the wedding is. Travel time, you know."

Roy pretended to sigh. "So much more complicated than it needs to be. Alright then, in that case we can go to the estate house first—it's closest."

Edward nodded, leaning his head against the window in contemplation. "I still think this place isn't going to fit in with the theme. I mean, the pictures online were gorgeous, don't get me wrong, but it looked a little…old fashioned for something a bit out there like stars, you know?"

"Fair enough," Roy responded. "You want to skip it?"

A moment of thought. "No," Ed decided. "That and the arbor are the only two places that were really for the wedding itself—a hall would work, but I'd like to avoid that if possible. It just seems a little awkward. Who knows, this place might seem perfect when we actually see it."

"Off we go, then."

* * *

Edward stepped out of Roy's car, already appraising the estate house before them. The outside actually didn't seem too out of place for the stars theme, maybe a little Victorian, but not dreadful.

Roy walked up behind him and grabbed his hand. "So? What do we think?"

"I think we need to see the inside. You, on the other hand, are hard to speak for—you're probably thinking something about my ass. Maybe how much trouble you'd be in if you pulled something while we're looking around."

"You read my mind."

Ed laughed, pulling Roy up the front stairs. At the door, his trepidation came back, but he grabbed the brass handle and opened it anyway…

"No."

Roy chuckled. "That was quick."

Elbowing the man gently, Edward glanced around once more. "Well, _look_ at it." The front room was, in a way, beautiful; but, now that they were inside, the old-timey feel was painfully obvious, with the lace on the chairs and the carvings on the banisters.

Bouncing their intertwined fingers against his thigh, Roy nodded slowly. "Yeah, you're right. Stars is kind of a light theme, and this place is…heavier."

Edward sighed. "Sucks." He turned, walking right back out the still-open door. "The arbor next, then?"

"Yup."

* * *

The arbor made Ed nervous. Of course it was outdoors—it was just trees, after all—and he just didn't know about that. "We're going to get messy somehow, I just know it. Mud, or birds, or something…"

Roy ran his fingers gently through Edward's ponytail. "Don't be such a downer—they have weddings here all the time, so they have to have some way of keeping everyone clean. Let's at least check it out."

The duo walked up a short path to the tiny office building that managed the arbor. Inside, a secretary was seated at his desk—watching some game on the TV just above him.

"C'mon, c'mon—damn it! Ah well, you have to lose sometimes." He turned to them, green eyes bright despite his team's apparent beating. "How can I help you?"

"We're here to ask about hosting a wedding here," Roy explained.

"I'm just full of bad luck today—I was hoping one of you was still single." The secretary winked as Ed held back laughter—something about the man's demeanor was hysterical. "Still, congratulations and all. Wedding and reception, or just one or the other?"

"Thanks, and it'll be just the wedding," Edward answered.

"And do you have anything that's a little more…controlled? My bride here's afraid of getting his dress dirty," Roy interjected.

Ed turned bright red, spinning to smack Roy on the arm. "I swear—!" He was cut off by Roy's hand covering his mouth. Beneath the makeshift gag, Edward continued to grumble.

The secretary watched the tiny spectacle with amusement. "You guys are priceless, best couple I've had in a while. Most people here are _so_ boring. And yeah, we have a gazebo that's got a stone pathway to it, so we can keep you clean."

"Thank you, Mr…?"

"Kevin's fine."

"Thanks, Kevin. Call me Roy—and this little spitfire's Ed. Mind if we check it out?" Roy smiled cheekily as Kevin nodded, chuckling, and walked past them out the door, leading the way. Edward scowled, finally giving in and biting the hand that was still over his mouth.

It worked. "You are in so much trouble later," Ed hissed.

Roy just threw an arm around his shoulders. "I love you too, Ed."

Muttering under his breath, Edward crossed his arms and followed Kevin down the path back to the parking lot. Under two arching trees was a second path he hadn't noticed before, this one a sidewalk of sorts. Much better.

They followed the secretary down the path, Ed swinging his head back and forth to look at the trees on either side. Then a turn, and they hit the gazebo.

The clearing it was in wasn't large, but big enough to accommodate everything as far as he could tell—and the path to the gazebo was nicely paved. The surrounding area was gravel, with flowers planted intermittently. No mess.

"So?" Kevin asked. "How do ya like it?"

Edward walked forward to inspect the gazebo, which was open and decorative, but not overwhelming. "It's nice," he called out absently. "I'm just not sure it fits in with our theme…"

"Which is?"

"Stars."

"You know, Ed," Roy said slowly, walking up behind him. "This might actually work—we could do it just before it gets dark, and light everything up—that would be like stars. With all the decorations and all, and the right time…"

"That would work!" Edward squealed, spinning around in his excitement. "You're a genius!"

"Does that mean you forgive me?"

Ed ignored Roy, instead leaning around him to ask Kevin, "Do you stay open late enough for that?"

"Yup," the secretary answered promptly, rocking on his heels. "Most of our weddings are in the day, but we stay open until 10 at night, so that should give you plenty of time."

Roy pulled Edward a little closer. "How booked up are you?"

"Depends on what your date is," Kevin laughed.

Ed let out a slight giggle as he realized something. "We haven't even set a date yet."

Chuckling as well, Roy looked down at him. "May?"

"Why?"

The man shrugged. "No reason; just that it'll be nice and warm by May, but probably not _hot_ yet. Plus that should give us plenty of time to plan everything else out."

Edward had no objections—it made sense. "When are you free in May, Kevin?"

The secretary pulled a notebook out of his pocket and flipped through it briefly. "Every night except the first, eleventh, and twentieth."

"Sixteenth," Roy murmured. "I like the way it sounds."

A feeling not unlike butterflies rose up in Ed's stomach. He began to bounce on the balls of his feet. "Should we do this?"

Roy grinned, and nodded. "Hey, Kevin—book us for May sixteenth."

"Right-o."

"Hey, Ed," Roy whispered, leaning down to breath in Edward's ear.

"What?" he responded, wrapping his arms around the man's neck.

"We're getting married." And Roy kissed him, Kevin wolf whistling in the background**.**


	6. Chapter 6

Edward paused, turkey sandwich lingering between his mouth and the plate. He was getting just about sick of this.

"Ed? You alright?"

Frowning, Edward placed his half eaten sandwich back down and wrenched his gaze back to Roy. "Some guy's been staring at me the whole time we've been here," he answered, crossing his arms in a huff. "It's _creepy_. I mean, it's not like I mind the attention," he added, flicking his ponytail back, teasing. "But it's hard to eat with someone watching you like that."

As Ed watched, Roy's eyes scanned the tiny restaurant they were in, finally spotting the problem. His face tightened just slightly. "You could always walk up and smack him."

Edward laughed. "I thought you didn't want me causing any more scenes. Remember that time when that waitress tried to hit on you? The brunette?"

The man shuddered. "Don't remind me. I was apologizing to the manager for _weeks_. He still won't let us back there, you know."

A shrug. "Their noodles weren't worth it anyway."

"It was a four star restaurant, Ed."

Edward grinned cheekily, leaning forward. "And?"

Roy rolled his eyes, taking a moment to finish up his sandwich before responding. "Nothing—I just know better than to take you anywhere fancy now."

"That's not fair—she totally had it coming, acting like that."

"Are you asking me to take care of this creep for you?" Roy asked, daring to point at the man.

"No!" Ed pouted. "I'm perfectly capable of handling him myself, you know."

"So handle him. I don't like that look."

Unable to help it, Edward giggled. "You're jealous."

Rather than answer, Roy just scowled—and a quick glance over his shoulder revealed why. The man had gotten up, and was now headed over to their table.

"If he touches you—" Roy began, finishing the threat too quietly for Edward to hear.

A tap on his shoulder, which was rather unnecessary considering the fact that Ed was already half-turned towards the man. He looked up, confronted with sneaky, ice blue eyes and a startlingly ginger beard.

"Hey, sweetheart, a pretty girl like you—"

"Oh _fuck_ no!" Edward didn't need to hear the rest of the freak's pitch—that was more than enough. "Are you _stupid_? I'm a guy, dumbass!" Behind him, he heard the telltale sound of Roy holding back laughter—evidently he didn't feel overly threatened anymore.

The bearded man leaned back, startled as Ed jumped out of his chair. "B-but you looked like you were with him—and you _look_ like a girl—" His words were stopped with a satisfying crunch, courtesy of Edward's fist on his jaw.

"You son of a bitch!"

A waitress came up, looking nervous. "Um, sir…?"

"Leave him," Roy suggested, still chuckling. "It's easier for everyone that way. I promise I won't let him destroy your property."

Ed was barely aware of this guarantee—he was still shouting. "How in the _hell_ do you mistake me for a woman!? You see any boobs here? What, long hair means female now, is that it? And as for Roy, I_ am_ with him—how does it feel, knowing you were about to hit on a gay guy?"

"Sir, I'm _really_ going to have to ask you to—"

"I know," Roy sighed, placing his hand on Edward's shoulder. "C'mon, Ed, I think you've scared him enough."

Grumbling and glaring, Edward nevertheless allowed Roy to lead him out of the establishment and back into the car. Once there, his anger deflated. "Sorry," he muttered.

"Nah, he had it coming to him," Roy responded lightly. "Plus, that one was pretty funny—and you stopped. Last time I had to pin you down."

"I keep telling you, I did that on purpose—I just wanted you on me." Edward grinned at the memory, relieved to not be in trouble this time.

"Uh huh, nice try." Roy leaned over from the driver's seat, pressing his lips to Ed's temple. "You're adorable."

"I'm not _adorable_!" Edward whined. "I swear, if one more person mistakes me for a girl—"

"What are you honestly going to do?"

"Shove my dick in their face."

"Bullshit—as tough as you are, you know you're too shy to do that," Roy laughed.

"I know," Ed sighed. "But it's nice to dream."

"You can stick your dick in my face, if you want?" Roy suggested.

Flushing—he would _never_ get used to Roy's blatant way of saying things like that—Edward smacked the man lightly on the arm. "Later—for now, let's just get back to business."

* * *

Any traces of Ed's bad mood disappeared when they stepped into the hotel ballroom. "Holy _shit_," he whispered. "It's _huge_."

Roy coughed, muttered, "That's what you said last night."

"Stop being such a horny bastard and focus," Edward hissed. "What do you think?"

Even as he asked Roy, Ed looked around, trying to decide how he felt about the ballroom. Would it work for the reception to the wedding? The room was obviously big enough to hold everything—but something about it didn't sit quite right with Edward.

"The ceiling!" he blurted. "The ceiling is too high, that's what it is."

"What do you mean?" Roy asked, craning his neck to look upwards.

"Well, it'd be cute—yes, _cute_, don't look at me like that—to have lights on the ceiling, you know, for a star theme—but with a ceiling that high, it'd be hard to see them, right? Less effect."

Roy nodded, still staring upwards. "I didn't think about that…I'm kind of glad this place doesn't work, though. It'd be a pretty long ride from the arbor to here, something closer would be better…"

Edward pulled their crumpled list from his pocket. "The closest place to the arbor was that one club—"

"We aren't going there."

"Why not?"

The man gave a short laugh. "You must have been daydreaming—we passed it up on the way to lunch, it was covered in graffiti, and was just really run down."

"That's also a no, then…what about the other ballroom, then? That's still further, but at least closer than this one…"

"You're going to run into the same problem with the ceiling there, Ed."

Edward huffed, sticking his tongue out as he thought. "What about Werster Hall?"

Roy considered for a moment, before taking his hand and leading the way out of the ballroom. "It's worth a look."

* * *

"Yes. I like this one."

"We've barely walked in the door, Ed."

"So what? I can tell." Edward glanced around. "It's clean, it's nice and simple so we can decorate, and the ceiling is low—_and_ it's close. What's wrong with it?"

Roy rolled his eyes. "We should at least get to the actual room being rented, instead of just the foyer."

"Point taken." Ed led the way this time, pulling Roy behind him as he made his way to the back of the hall. Once he spotted the right door, Edward sped up, pulling it open impatiently.

They were silent for a moment, taking in the simple design, the perfect _emptiness_ of the room, the sparkling, midnight blue tiling…

"Oh!" Edward squealed. "The tiles! Come _on_ Roy—you have to admit, that's pretty much perfect."

"Okay, okay, you did good." The man gave him a quick squeeze, which Ed accepted for a moment before escaping back out the open door. "Ed, where are you going?"

"The front desk—we still have to book this place, you know."

With that, Edward took off through the corridors, Roy close on his heels. He skidded to a stop in front of the front desk like an eager child.

"Can I help you?" the woman asked, smiling.

"Yes, we're getting married on May sixteenth, and wanted to know if we could book this place for a reception that night," Roy answered, much more composed than Edward.

"Sure thing—although I must say, this one looks awfully young to be getting married."

Ed huffed. "I'm seventeen."

The secretary shook her head. "And already getting married—well, congratulations to you. It's not often you find your soul mate so easily."

As Edward grinned, Roy threw an arm around his shoulder, pulling him close. "There is just one thing—our wedding is late at night, just before sunset. Ideally we would still have the reception right afterwards, but if you aren't open all night…"

Already waving her arm, the woman reassured them, "Oh no, we're used to having late receptions; we don't close until two in the morning, is that late enough?"

Ed nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, should be!"

He looked up to see a beaming Roy. "If we could book the hall for May sixteenth, that would be great."

"Right you are…" she typed for a few seconds, concentrating on the computer screen before her. "What's the name?"

"Roy Mustang."

"Alright, Mr. Mustang, I've got you down."

Edward couldn't help but let out a stifled giggle, nudging Roy in the side. He was ignored—which was probably a good thing. "Thanks!" he chirped, smiling at the secretary.

"No problem; good luck with the wedding planning!"

As they exited the building, Ed had to wonder about her parting words. "Why does everyone think this is so hard? I mean, you always hear about people having a hard time organizing weddings, but so far this is almost _too_ easy."

Roy snorted. "Well…considering how difficult everything _else_—everything _normal_—is with you, it kind of makes sense that something like this would be easy."

Scowling, Edward punched him in the arm. "Shut up!"

A kiss on his head. "Oh, calm down. You know I love you. You're a pain in the ass—but I wouldn't have you any other way."


	7. Chapter 7

Roy yawned, tightening his grip around Edward as he did so. Tired as he was, he couldn't quite sleep—his mind was racing. Not in a bad way, though; he just had a lot to think about.

Like magnets, Roy's eyes fell once more to Ed's left hand, which lay extended and resting on the sheets. Even in the dark of the room, the telltale glint of the boy's ring made him smile. He'd proposed on the spur of the moment, really, just because he thought Edward would like to get married…but the more Roy thought about it, the more planning they did, the more excited he got as well.

For the first time in his life, Roy could actually picture himself getting married, and the image made him glow warmly.

The only thing was picturing _Ed_. Roy couldn't quite visualize the blonde, not because he didn't _want_ to marry him, but because…well, it just didn't line up. When he tried to imagine Edward in a tuxedo, it just felt awkward, but the boy would never be caught wearing a dress (though, in Roy's mind, this option actually fit much better).

He had to be realistic. Roy had never once wished that Ed was a girl—he was more than happy with the blonde as he was—and so it only made sense for Edward to wear a tux as well.

Roy sighed lightly, pressing a kiss to the boy's sleeping head. They were going shopping for tuxedos in the morning—and Ed had a unique ability to look even better in reality than in Roy's head. It would all be fine.

* * *

Edward fought to stay still in his seat, contenting himself with turning his head back and forth, taking in the various suits the shop had to offer. "Do you think we should match? I mean, black tuxes will probably look the best, but will that be too boring? Of course black would be easier to reuse…And what color tie, blue or silver?"

Next to him, Roy laughed, rubbing his arm. "We'll find out after we try some on, be patient."

"You could just get really excited instead?" Ed suggested. "Since when are _you_ the voice of reason anyway?"

"Hey, _you're _the one who gets mad when I try to start something in public places, but if you've changed your mind—"

"No, nope, never mind!" Edward interrupted quickly. "Forget I said anything. Just keep being reasonable."

"Until we get home?"

"How come you never try these little lines when we're actually _alone_?" Ed groaned.

"What fun would that be?" Roy responded, grinning cheekily.

"Um, excuse me, are you two Roy and Edward?" A sales clerk asked as he walked towards them, eyes glued to his clipboard.

"Yep, that's us," Roy answered, nudging Ed. "See, I'm good at distracting you," the man stage whispered.

"Shut up," Edward said, sticking his tongue out, yelping when Roy ran a finger along it. The sales clerk raised his eyebrows.

"All right, so I'm assuming Roy is the groom, and Edward, you're the best man? Or is it the other way around?" the man asked.

Ed's forehead wrinkled in confusion. "No, we're _both_ grooms."

"Ah, my bad—a double wedding, then," the clerk murmured, scribbling something out on his clipboard.

"I don't think you get it," Roy interjected slowly. "We're getting married _to each other_."

At this, the man stiffened, almost dropping his pen. "So—you two are…homosexuals?" The word came out of his mouth hesitantly.

Edward felt a prickling on his hairline—trouble approaching. "Yeah, you got a problem with that?"

"Yes, actually—this company does not support such—_unnatural_ unions as yours," the clerk answered, nose raised in distaste. "I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

Ed couldn't quite believe what he was hearing, his mouth falling open as he tried to process this information. "Un_natural_?" he finally spluttered, jumping to his feet. "The fuck are you talking about?"

"A man on man relationship is, quite frankly, both disturbing _and_ unproductive. It goes against every natural law there is—" Edward swung at the man, only to have his arm stopped by Roy.

"Damn it, Roy, let me go," Ed hissed, glaring at the startled clerk. "I'm going to kick his ass."

But Roy only tightened his grip, pulling Edward in closer and wrapping restraining arms around him. "Don't give him the satisfaction, Ed," he whispered. "You're better than this jackass—just let him lead his miserable little life." Roy turned to the clerk, who had a superior look on his face. "Stop smiling," he snapped. "You're very lucky I'm not letting him pound you—it's just that you're pathetic. Beneath notice. Just because something isn't to your liking, you feel it's wrong. Well, if you live your life that way, you're going to have a real sad time of it—and that's just what you deserve."

And with that, Roy turned, pushing Ed ahead of him out the door. Once safely out of the shop, Edward exploded. "I can't believe you wouldn't let me hit him! Fucking _thundercunt_, I've never met anyone who was such a twat—"

Roy interrupted him, laughing. "I love how creative your curses are getting—where'd you even pick those up?"

"It's not funny!" Ed yelled. "He's a horrible, horrible man. How could he act like that—just because we're two guys? It's not even logical…"

"I know, Ed. I do. But I have a theory about every straight man who hates gay people," Roy responded, smile growing on his face.

"What?"

"They're all just terribly afraid that they'd love it up the ass."

Edward stood stunned for a moment, before a giggle broke through the façade. "That's _perfect_," he gasped, clutching his stomach as hysteria overcame him. "When'd you think that one up?"

Roy shrugged. "A while ago."

"Perfect," Ed repeated.

Roy grinned at him. "Good now?"

"I guess." Edward looked back into the store. "Cum guzzler."

"I love you."

* * *

Upon entering the house, Ed flopped onto the couch, letting out a sigh. "So we have to wait until next week to get an appointment at the other store?"

"Yeah, 'fraid so," Roy responded, grabbing the phone before sitting down next to him. "Still, that's not too long a wait."

"I know. But _you_ know I'm impatient," Edward pouted.

Roy rolled his eyes, punching in some buttons on the phone. "Hush."

"Who're you calling?" Ed asked, only to have a finger placed over his lips. "Yeah, that's real effective." Then an entire hand, which served to shut him up with much more efficiency.

"Hello? Yes, I'm here to see about getting someone to officiate a wedding," Roy said into the phone. "The date? May sixteenth." He covered up the receiver for a moment. "Ed, do you have a preference for a guy versus a girl as our minister?"

Unable to speak, Edward merely shook his head.

"No, it doesn't matter. At night, probably around eight thirty or nine. Mhmm." This was why Ed _hated_ listening to phone calls—hearing just one side of the conversation was irritating as all get out. "Roy Mustang. Yeah, that'll do it. Thanks!" Roy hung up, finally removing his hand from Edward's mouth.

"The hell was that?" Ed demanded.

"I booked a minster for us—not a religious one, of course. I figured we had some free time now, so I called this one hotline while I was thinking about it…"

Edward laughed. "You called a _hotline_ to find someone to officiate our wedding?"

Roy shrugged. "So long as it's legal, I figured it would be the easiest way."

That was a positive way to look at it. "But _anyone_ can become a minister—what if we end up getting married by a stripper or something?"

This time he received a wave of the hand as a response. "Oh, please, it's not like you'd mind."

Well, he couldn't argue against that. To be honest, getting married with a stripper officiating sounded like the start to a great party in Ed's mind. "Fine. But still, you could have just told me that's what you were doing instead of covering my mouth."

"I'm just surprised you didn't lick me."

"I don't know where that hand has _been_," Ed responded, acting shocked.

"Like you care," the man snorted. "Well, I can tell you this: it hasn't been anywhere you wouldn't put your mouth anyway."

Edward flushed, heat rising to his face. "Just shut up and kiss me."

Roy leaned forward, chuckling against Ed's lips. "See? You like using your mouth."


	8. Chapter 8

"And you're _sure_ this place isn't going to be all homophobic, right?"

"No, Ed. I lied to you the last hundred times you asked me."

Edward stuck his tongue out at Roy, crossing his arms as the man held the door open for him. "I like to make sure, alright?"

"Hush," Roy answered, walking up to the counter. Behind him, Ed gave him the middle finger and winked at the secretary, who looked shocked. "Hi, we have an appointment to try on some suits, it should be under the name Roy Mustang…"

The woman shook herself out of her surprise and scrolled down her computer screen. "Yes, I see you. You can have a seat right over there, I'll have someone with you momentarily."

Turning, Edward plopped down on the indicated couch, never one to deny himself a comfy seat. Roy, rolling his eyes, pulled Ed up out of his slouch and sat down as well. "Why do you always have to take up the entire couch?" he asked as Edward leaned back against him.

"Because I just love it when you toss me aside so you have a place to sit," Ed answered sarcastically. "The abuse really gets me going."

"Then why did you keep telling me to stop last night?"

"Tickling is a level far beyond abuse," Edward muttered. "I should have called the authorities."

Roy laughed loudly, causing the secretary to look over at them with an expression of something close to alarm. "You realize I'm part of the 'authorities,' right?"

"Exactly," Ed responded, grinning up at the man. "Doesn't that mean you get extra jail time?"

"Oh, come on. You'd miss me if I was in jail. You'd have to cook for yourself, you'd be alone for absurd amounts of time—hell, you'd probably have to ask Al to move back in just so you didn't go crazy. You'd constantly be calling the prison to whine at me, and…" Roy's eyes glinted mischievously. "Worst of all, with me gone, you'd have no one to suck—" Hurriedly, Edward clapped a hand over the man's mouth, glancing at the secretary…whose cheeks were on fire.

Filthy eavesdropper.

"You just love embarrassing me, don't you?" Edward whispered through clenched teeth. Roy, still unable to speak, nodded unabashedly.

"Excuse me, someone has an appointment?"

What was it with these assistants and perfect timing? Roy raised his hand and mumbled, before laughing into Ed's palm.

"That's us," Edward answered, unable to stop himself from chuckling as well as he released Roy's face.

"Excellent. I'm Sam, I'll be fitting you today. Which one wants to go first?"

Ed exchanged glances with Roy. "You," he decided. "You'll be easier." Because Roy just happened to be pretty much perfect, whereas Edward was bound to have to at least have the sleeves shortened…stupid height.

Roy seemed to know exactly what he was thinking, as the man was clearly holding back more laughter. Ed gave him a warning glare—being short was that one thing that_ really_ pissed him off—and (thankfully) Roy didn't say anything, simply rising and pulling Edward up with him. They followed Sam down a short maze of tuxedos to the main showroom.

"Pick anything you like—what color were you looking for?"

Oh, the decisions. Ed groaned inwardly, sizing Roy up. Black? Midnight blue? "Black," he finally responded.

"What, don't I get a say?" Roy joked.

Edward elbowed him in the ribs. "Black or blue would work, but blue would be…"

"Overpowering? Alright." Roy turned to Sam, confirmed, "Black it is."

Sam nodded. "We've got several styles, so you can just look around…most of the differences are minimal, but that can change an overall look quite drastically."

Turning to the displays, Ed scanned the options. The first looked like every other suit he'd ever seen, while the second—he had to hold back a laugh—was so pointy along the shoulders and other joints that it looked like some kind of costume. He kept going, walking slowly along, shooting down the options—this one looked too casual, that one had far too many buttons. Finally, he fell to the middle one at the exact same time Roy did.

"This one!" Edward declared, smiling up at the man—and allowing a little bit of deviousness to leak into the expression. This suit, by far the best (to his mind), was tighter than most of the other options, with sleek lapels and a slight sharpness of profile.

"You sure?" Roy asked. "It's a little…snug-looking, don't you think?"

"That's why I like it," Ed teased. "Just try it on?"

The man rolled his eyes, but the corner of his mouth turned up just slightly. "Alright. Sam, can I try one of these?"

"Yes, of course. Just come with me to the fitting room, I'll measure you and get the proper size—ah, ah, ah," he added, stopping Edward in his tracks as he made to follow them. "You wait out here."

Pouting slightly, Ed relented and hung back, glancing at the suits. With Roy taken care of (Edward just _knew_ he would look perfect in the suit he was trying on), he turned his attention to himself. Which one would look good on him? And which one would match Roy's—without it being the exact same one? Ed flat out refused to buy the same tux, that would be too boring. Something that matched the sharpness, maybe, but was a little looser, maybe…Edward frowned at his options.

When was the last time he'd even worn a suit? His current tee and pants (skin tight, as always) felt so much more natural than dressing up. Of course, Edward would have to get a little fancy…but he couldn't picture himself in any of the suits.

Oh well. He'd try a couple on and just suck it up—he'd get used to feeling classy eventually.

A sound behind him made Ed turn around, and he couldn't help it—his jaw dropped, mouth hanging open like some kind of idiot. Sure, Roy was always drool-worthy, but in that suit…Edward couldn't help but zero in on the way it fit so nicely across the man's broad chest, or how it (he gulped, here) hugged his ass in a painfully flattering way…it was only with effort that Ed managed to collect himself—at least a little. Still, there was no way he could take his eyes off of Roy.

* * *

Roy looked at himself in the mirror, turning from side to side. He'd been unsure before, but Edward was right; the tuxedo fit him like a glove.

He caught sight of Ed's stunned face behind him in the mirror, and he grinned. The boy was practically salivating over him. Roy only barely held back a laugh, quite enjoying that hungry edge to Edward's gaze—perhaps a little too much for public.

Still, that cinched it; this would be the _perfect_ suit for their wedding. Roy could just imagine it, him teasing Ed just by what he was wearing…

"Hmm," Sam murmured beside him. "Maybe a little tight, especially in the trousers…I can have that taken care of, though."

"Don't you dare," Roy muttered back. "Do you see his face? This is _perfect_."

Sam looked back at Edward for a moment, looking to be somewhere in between amused and uncomfortable. Roy smirked, turning around. "Well? What do you think?"

The blonde stood silent for a moment—Roy wondered whether he was conscious of the fact that his face was a brilliant shade of red. "Yeah," he finally rasped, coughed. "Yeah, that's—that's _really_ good."

"Excellent." Grinning victoriously, Roy started to head back to the dressing room, calling behind him, "You look while I take this off, okay?"

"Alright," came the faint response.

Smiling the entire time, Roy finally finished undressing and walked back out to the main area, where Edward waited.

"Which ones are you going to try?" he asked.

Still slightly flabbergasted, Ed pointed to two—a plain-ish one and one with hardly noticeable pinstripes—and Sam whisked the boy off to get him fitted.

At this point, Roy's grin began to fade. Something inside of him was stuck, rather firmly, on the idea of Edward in a dress. He should be headed to the dressing room with an armful of white lace…Roy licked his lips unconsciously.

And then footsteps, and Ed was looking at himself in the mirror. The boy seemed uncomfortable at best, and downright disgruntled at worst. Roy couldn't deny that he looked _good_—hell, he always did. But the blonde lacked something (maybe something as simple as confidence), and there just wasn't the air of happiness that he wanted for Edward.

"I like it, but I don't think you do," he said, answering Ed's unspoken question as the boy turned around. "Try on the other one, see how you feel."

"Yeah—this one's too stiff," Edward agreed, walking off.

While waiting, Roy strode down a short hall to look at the rather extensive display of ties. Immediately, a silver one caught his eye. The color, the certain sheen, seemed so perfectly metallic—yet still subtle. And down the hall just a little further, a midnight blue shirt stood out. That could work.

"Roy!" Ed called from the next room.

"Coming!" He entered, and—this one was worse than before. Edward, torn between pouting and laughing, was shaking his head at his reflection.

"This is ridiculous, isn't it?"

"The first one was definitely better," Roy agreed delicately. "But…it didn't look like you were happy in it."

The blonde sighed. "I wasn't—it felt weird. So does this one. But I don't know if it's just that I'm not used to wearing a tux…"

"Nah, if you liked it, you'd be comfortable anyway. Maybe we should look around?"

Edward bit his lip, still staring at his reflection. Roy could see the conflict in the boy's eyes: he didn't want to have to deal with looking around anymore, and the nervousness, wondering if he would find something—but neither did Ed want to settle. "Yeah, okay," he finally sighed, stepping away from the mirror. "Let me take this off."

"Alright—I'm going to head up and pay for this," Roy responded, gesturing to the suit Sam had laid aside from him. And there's a shirt and tie I want to check out?"

"What color?"

"The shirt's a dark blue, the tie's a metallic sort of silver."

The blonde's face lit up. "Ooh, that's _perfect_! It fits the color scheme and everything—go ahead and get those, too."

Nodding and grinning like a fool, Roy walked down the hall and picked everything up. Edward actually managed to beat him to the checkout—Roy had had to dig for his size in the shirt, it took forever, really—and as soon as the boy caught sight of him he ran up to inspect the clothes.

"I approve," Ed decided, holding the tie up to the light and watching it shine. "It's unique, but it's not too much at all."

"Well, hand it here, I have to pay for it. You'll have plenty of time to manhandle my clothes later."

Edward looked at him, brow furrowed. "I think I take offence to that." Nevertheless, he handed the tie back to Roy, who checked out before heading to the car.

Despite his failure to find something for himself, Ed was in a pretty good mood, and that had Roy thinking. The blonde really _hadn't_ seemed happy in the suits—but really, it wasn't like a dress would make him any more confident. That would be ridiculous. Still…Roy was feeling oddly daring.

He waited until Ed was buckled in. "Hey, Ed…?"

"Yeah?"

"You know what you could do? Instead of wearing a tux, I mean."

Though Roy kept his eyes on the road, he caught the boy's confused expression out of the corner of his eye. "What?"

"Wear a dress."

Silence filled the car for a moment, before Edward busted out laughing. "Don't scare me like that! Joking around with that serious face, I thought you _meant _it…" His laughter petered out as he continued to watch Roy. "Fuck, you didn't, did you? You weren't being serious…right?"

"Well, I mean, you seemed pretty uncomfortable in the tuxedos."

The blonde snorted, crossing his arms. "Like a dress would be any better. Do you know how much everyone would laugh at me? Havoc would have a field day." Edward shuddered. "I'm wearing a tux. I'll find one, we just have to keep looking."

Ed's tone made it quite clear that the conversation was to stop there. Still, Roy couldn't help but notice that the blonde had shut down his idea because of what everyone _else_ would say—Edward didn't say anything about how he felt about wearing a dress. And considering the boy's highly vocal nature, that was…odd.

Perhaps he would bring this back up some other time.


	9. Chapter 9

"This is hard," Ed groaned.

"Isn't that what you said last night?"

Edward, who was currently lying down on the couch, kicked Roy in the ribs. "Fuck off, I mean it, this is really _difficult_. Pervert."

The man laughed, wrapping his hands around Ed's ankles and putting them on his lap to prevent any further attacks. "You're insane, this is the easiest part."

"Choosing the guest list is _easy_?" Ed asked, incredulous.

"It's not like we have a thousand people to choose from," Roy snorted. "We literally just have to invite everyone we give a shit about and be done with it."

Okay. He had a point…but still. "Yeah, but we have to choose our best men and that kind of thing, and _then_ invite everyone else. It's not a matter of who's coming, but what they're doing."

The man opened his mouth to say something, but closed it before any words came out. Edward waited impatiently, tapping his feet lightly on Roy's leg. Still silence. He sighed, stretched, and said, "Yo, it's a little early for you to be losing your memory like this, you're not _that_ old."

"I didn't forget what I was going to say, I just thought of something."

Roy didn't elaborate, just let that little teaser hang in the hair. "Well? What is it?"

"I was thinking about you having Al for your best man, but then I thought you might want him to walk you down the aisle…but are you even walking down the aisle?"

Now Edward was the one that was quiet, thinking. Not about the question—of course he was walking down the aisle, he wasn't going to miss that—but about what the other alternatives could possibly be. "You know what, I think _you_ should be the one to walk down the aisle. I mean, one of us has to, we can't both just stand there, there's got to be some flair to it. But not me, definitely you, it'll be more fun."

"No way am I walking down the aisle," Roy responded flatly.

"And why not?" That was interesting. Ed had just been joking…

"It's my _job_ to stand at the altar and wait for my bride," Roy snickered.

Even though he knew the man was just trying to get a rise out of him, Edward couldn't help but take the bait. "I'm not your fucking bride! I'm your _groom_! Jeez, you know full well that I'm not some _girl_…"

"Oh, I don't know…" Roy said airily, letting his head fall back against the couch as he looked at Edward, waiting for a response with a mischievous grin threatening to break his mask of composure.

"I swear I will kick you in the balls," Ed threatened, trying to raise his feet. Roy tightened his hold on his ankles.

"Come on, you know I'm kidding," he reassured.

"Yeah, but I've had it up to here with people insinuating that I'm girly or some shit like that," Edward muttered, crossing his arms and staring up at the ceiling. "I've been trying to keep my temper in check, but I'm seriously about to punch someone. I don't understand…I mean, yeah, I'm gay—obviously—but you're with me, and no one does this to you." Ed swallowed hard. He hadn't meant for all that to come out—this was supposed to be a light conversation, but somehow he'd slipped in a little too much honesty. But it _was_ bothering him, he couldn't help but voice it.

"Ed," Roy murmured after a surprised moment. "I know you're not a girl—and I wouldn't have it any other way, either. I think it's just that…well, since you came out, you know, by hooking up with me—you've been a little more open. Haven't you noticed? Let me put it this way…" Roy thought for a second. "I feel like every guy has little things about him that he tends to hide that would be perceived as feminine. And I just think—I mean, I like to think—that you've just been so happy and maybe even a little more accepting of yourself that you don't bother to hide things anymore."

This almost made Edward feel worse. Because, in a way, it was true. He did like some really girly shit—his taste in TV shows, for example. And tighter pants, not those stupid loose things other people wore. And the fact that he genuinely enjoyed planning for their wedding, not just because he was getting married, but because all the sparkly decorations were going to be fucking fabulous. "But again, you're different. You don't—" Ed broke off, flushing. "What if I'm the problem, not how people see me? You don't show anything like that, so either you're still hiding, or it really is just me."

"Ed, you're being paranoid—of course it's not just you. There are unmanly things about me too."

"Like what?"

Roy didn't even have to think. "Like my taste in drinks. It's considered manlier to drink beer or something, right? And I fucking love cocktails and martinis and all those fancy froufrou drinks."

Groaning, Edward raised his hands above his head. "So why don't people tease you about it?"

There was no answer for a moment. "I don't know. Maybe it's because they know I wouldn't take it as well as you do. You have to keep in mind, Ed—everyone's just joking, because it's incredibly fun to banter with you. I joke around too, but you know I love you. And Havoc and everyone else, they care about you too. It's not like we seriously think you're a girl."

"I know," Ed sighed. "I'm just touchy." He grinned suddenly—despite his worrying, he couldn't help but laugh at himself a little then. "Wow, I really am a chick, mood swings and all."

Roy laughed and grabbed one of Edward's hands, pulling him up for a hug. "How about we get back to the guest situation?"

Edward took a deep breath. "Okay. Also, yes, for reference, I am walking down the aisle. I think I might actually have Granny walk with me…I'd rather have Al do it, in a way, because we're closer—Granny still isn't too happy with the way I turned out, I can tell—but I want him to be my best man. I mean, the aisle thing matters, but I think it says more to have my brother next to me the whole time, you know? I'll just have Granny walk me up and sit back down."

"Alrighty, so that takes care of you." Roy was quiet for a moment. "I was thinking about having a best woman, actually—Gracia, in place of Maes…"

Thinking it best not to say anything for a moment, Ed merely rubbed Roy's shoulder. He knew the death (in the line of duty) of Maes Hughes, Roy's best friend, still cut the man deep. He hadn't really recovered, even though it had been a couple years, and definitely hadn't become that close to anyone else, save Edward himself. Finally, Ed spoke up. "I think that'd be really nice. I mean, if he could be here, Hughes would have been the obvious choice. And instead of trying to pick someone else to fill his place, it'd be better to have Gracia there to kind of represent…"

Roy nodded, thankfully clear-eyed and with a steady voice; nothing broke Edward's heart like watching the man cry, a rare event that shook him deeply. "Yeah, you're right, it'd be a dishonor to his memory to not have him 'there' as my best man. I'll have Gracia do it."

Edward smiled. "And we can have Elicia handle the flowers and rings, she'd love that."

"You know, there are usually separate people for that—"

Ed cut him off. "What other adorable kid do you know? She can do both, it's fine."

Roy rolled his eyes, laughing. "Whatever you say. So that's everyone special—who are we inviting in general?"

"Well, the whole team, obviously, so that's five people…" Edward held up five fingers, beginning to count on his other hand as he added people. "If you assume each of them actually brings a date—debatable, but we'd better play it safe—that's ten. Then Winry will be coming with Granny…"

"And Madame Christmas would kill me if she didn't get to come, then add her plus one," Roy interjected. "And we should probably invite Armstrong, he'd be so disappointed otherwise."

Ed winced. "Do we have to bring his sister too? She's terrifying."

"Nah, she wouldn't want to come. At least, not his older sister, but the Marjor'll probably bring his younger sister along in lieu of a date."

"Okay, so we're at fifteen. Oh! And we have to invite Maria and Denny."

Roy almost choked. "Since when are you on first terms with Ross and Brosh?"

"Since you had to leave for a week and I was lonely and they took pity on me," Ed pouted. "Remember?"

"All I remember is you clinging to me for forever afterwards."

Edward frowned. "I'm pretty sure it was the other way around." He held up his hand. "Anyway, they should come. Seventeen—I don't have enough fingers for this…" Ed looked at Roy. "Hold up your hands."

"You're kidding right?"

"Just do it!" Ed insisted, pulling the man's arms up into the air himself and forcing three fingers down. "There. Seventeen."

Roy raised his eyebrow, but kept his hands up. "What are you going to do next, call Al and have him come over to help?" he teased.

"Shut up and keep listing."

Over the next several minutes, Ed and Roy thought up a total of 53 names, excluding Al, Granny Pinako, and Gracia and Elicia. "I think that's enough," Edward finally decided. "I mean, I'm sure we could keep going, but we're just being gracious at this point. That's more than enough people to get a party going. Besides, I'm not sure how many people that arbor is going to hold…"

Roy nodded. "Yeah, plus I'm getting into that uncomfortable realm of people I prefer not to associate with, but I just kind of end up having to talk to…"

Laughing, Edward looked down at their paper (having abandoned finger counting after twenty names) and scanned the list once more to finalize it. "Yep, looks good."

"Soon we'll have to send out save the date cards…" Roy paused, a devious glint forming in his eyes. "Hey, you're not going to have a meltdown over stationary, are you?"

Ed rolled his eyes. He was fully aware that Roy was kidding, and his little moment of paranoia was over, but still, that was a dick move. Well, Roy wasn't the only one who could be sassy. "No, but you will be when I make you deal with addressing them all by hand."

"You cheeky little shit."

Smiling widely, Edward tipped his head to the side innocently. "It's just one of my charms."


	10. Chapter 10

"No, look, you don't understand. I know it's a lot to ask, but I'm going to need a _little_ more control over what songs play, this stupid generic shit isn't always good enough—"

Roy shook his head, trying not to laugh and focus on his task. He was _supposed_ to be looking online to start finding decorations (and decorators to put them up) for the wedding, but it was more or less impossible to not get fixated on what Edward was doing, namely trying to get so music happening.

"Look, I don't want to be dancing at my wedding reception and suddenly have to stop because some shit music comes on—what do you _mean_, I'm being unrealistic!? There's got to be someone who's willing to just push a play button—well, yeah, maybe I _will_ do it myself." Roy tried to look like he was concentrating as Ed huffed behind him, hanging up the phone.

Suddenly he boy's arms were wrapped around his neck. "Ugh, does it really have to be this hard? I can't be the only person who wants to actually pick the playlist."

Fighting a grin, Roy paused a moment before responding. "Well, no, but most people are willing to only pick some of the songs, not all of them." It was beyond hysterical, how intent Edward was on choosing the music. True, Roy kind of understood—music was a very taste-specific thing, and Ed wanted to be able to enjoy it all night—but still, this was such a…_bridezilla_ moment that it was hard to take the blonde seriously.

Behind him, Ed groaned. "I don't see why I'm making it any harder on the DJs though. I'd think it'd be easier, actually, having all the music picked out ahead of time." Roy felt a weight on his shoulder as the boy rested his head. "How're you doing?" he asked.

"Better than you," Roy teased. "There's this one guy, Aaron Sparks, who used to be an interior designer. Now he does custom decorations for weddings…"

Ed looked up at the computer screen in interest, and Roy followed his gaze. Currently, he was on the information page, which was dominated by a picture of Aaron himself. "Seems legit."

Roy snorted through a laugh. "I know, I know, the website looks a little…self-centered, shall we say. But I've been looking him up, and some of his work is really impressive."

"I wanna see," Edward decided, standing up straight only to take a few step around Roy and plop down on his lap.

"Insistent, aren't you?" Roy muttered, kissing the blonde's head. He switched over a tab and scrolled slowly down, letting Ed see the pictures of various rooms (and weddings) this Aaron guy had designed.

"Does he make all the decorations from scratch? Or does he buy it? I've never seen anything like _any_ of this stuff in stores, but I don't have connections…"

"I think it's a mix—he's got a little team of people who do some building and crafting work for him, but I'm sure some stuff comes from a store."

"I'd love to know where these people shop," Edward murmured, pushing his hand under Roy's and taking control of the mouse. Roy settled for wrapping his arms around the blonde's waist. After a quiet minute, Ed asked, "Can we meet up with him? I want to see what he thinks he would do with the venue…"

"Sure thing, I'll send an email over."

Edward got up, stretching and sighing. "I guess that mean's I'd better get back to the music thing…"

Roy sped up, typing away as fast as he could; he didn't want to miss the verbal showdown he was sure was about to come. Thirty seconds later, and he'd hit the send button. Roy stood up and walked over to sit on the couch, eyes glued to Ed as he paced up and down the living room waiting for this next DJ to pick up.

"Yeah, hi, I need to see about getting some music booked for my wedding reception…May sixteenth. Uh huh. In the evening. Awesome, thanks." Edward put his hand over the bottom of the phone and mouthed, "On hold," as he rolled his eyes.

Expectant, Roy waited, debating whether he had time to nab a drink before someone came back on the line. He was just about to get up, when—

"Yup, that's right." Ed paused. "Well, that's just the thing, I don't want one particular genre…I was actually hoping I could make up the playlist myself." The boy's shoulders sagged—he'd just gotten some bad news. Roy should have requested he put it on speaker. "Well, yeah, I am kinda picky about it…"

There was a long pause, in which Edward's expression grew increasingly pissed off. "Okay, seriously?" he finally snapped. "What is it with you DJs and being this douche-y to people!? Don't sass me! You do realize I'm trying to pay you, right, why does it matter what music you have to play to earn a buck? Is this how you usually get customers?" Now the blonde was pacing frantically, scowling and balling up his fists. "Yeah, uh huh, I'd like to see you take me on—well I'm in the military, shit for brains! Oh, go suck it!"

Edward threw down the phone, gritting his teeth together. "Even _I _have a better attitude than these people."

"Want me to call the next one?" Roy asked. He was having a massive internal battle over whether he should be sympathetic or amused, and that suggestion seemed to sit nicely in the middle of the two.

"No, I can do this!" Ed insisted. The boy bit his lip… "Do you think it would be too un-classy to just use a phone and speakers and no DJ?"

"Yes."

"Fuck." Sighing heavily, Edward picked up the phone again and looked down at his list. "Here goes nothing."

Roy was silent as the boy dialed. To be honest, he probably should have been doing something to help like a good fiancé, but very few things were more adorable than an angry Edward, _especially_ when the blonde was yelling at someone else instead of him for a change.

"Hi, let me get right to the point. I need some music for my wedding reception, but I'd like to have as much control over the playlist as possible." That was interesting—it seemed that Ed was now willing to relinquish total dominion. Roy sniggered at the thought, trying to cover it up with a cough as Edward raised his eyebrows. The trouble was, he couldn't get the image out of his head: Lord Edward Elric, master of all things music. Bow down to his tasteful playlist of greatness.

"_Thank you_!" Ed shouted suddenly. "Sorry, it's just, I've called three other DJs already, and they've been downright rude about it. Plus they couldn't help me, which sucks. So you can do that? Excellent, let's book it. For the night of May sixteenth. How much in advance? Okay, I can do that. Thanks. Bye."

Triumphant now, Edward grinned as he put down the phone. "Got one!"

"So what kind of input do you have?"

"Total control. The music is my plaything." Ed laughed, jumping onto the cough next to Roy. "Seriously, though, this guy doesn't care—I think it's because he's kind of new and not that big, so he's not as picky about—"

"Picky customers?"

"Yeah. So that's settled." The blonde beamed up at him, and Roy couldn't help but grin back.

"Now all you have to do is actually choose the music."

" No problem," Ed replied, flippant. "That's the fun part, we get to choose all the right songs and they can actually _mean_ something and maybe we can throw in some funny songs for once everyone's drunk—"

"We?" Roy asked, mockingly surprised. "I'm included in the decision making process?"

Edward looked at him rather seriously. "Don't you make fun of me."

"I'm not…?"

"I'm excited for this part, and yeah, I want your input. Twenty years from now when you're going deaf I'll put on the first song we danced to at our wedding and it'll be the one thing you can hear and you'll cry tears of joy and remembrance."

Roy choked. "Okay, as sweet as that is, I'm only going to be fifty in twenty years, don't make it sound like I'm fading, alright?"

"Roy, I fully expect you to be senile within ten years."

"I'm going to pretend I never heard that."

Ed laughed. "No, but in all seriousness, I want us to pick out songs that mean something to us."

Smiling, Roy turned and pulled Edward in close. "Can I tell you a secret?"

"Um…sure?"

"You're such a sap."


	11. Chapter 11

Edward could hardly contain his excitement. Pretty much everything that had to do with wedding planning was fun (stressful, yes, but also a great time), but getting to stuff Al into a bunch of different suits until he liked one was going to be a highlight, he just knew it. Will all that anticipation, Ed found himself bouncing lightly on the car seat, staring out the window and eager to see the store approaching.

"Stop that!" Alphonse ordered for the umpteenth time. "You're making me nervous!"

"Why nervous? This is going to be _great!_" Edward snickered.

"Yeah, great for _you_, which makes me really nervous," Al groaned, poking Ed in the ribs. "I just don't want you to have _too_ much fun."

"When did you get so boring, Al?"

"Now, Ed," Roy admonished from the front seat, pulling into a parking space. "I thought you were going to keep Alphonse in a good mood so he would put on the dresses…"

Edward, who had just pushed open the car door, almost fell onto the pavement because he was laughing so hard; Al's face was priceless.

"You're kidding, right?" his brother asked, looking panicked.

"Yes, he is, relax," Ed chuckled, picking himself up and dusting off his shirt.

"Good," Alphonse breathed, climbing out of the car as well now that he knew he wasn't in any danger. "It's just, I wouldn't put it past you—"

"Please, it's not me you have to worry about," Edward snorted. "Roy's the one who keeps wanting to stick people in dresses."

In response to Ed's accusation, Roy merely shrugged helplessly. "I'm not apologizing."

"So does that mean you're wearing a dress, Brother?" Al asked, though he quickly backtracked once he caught sight of Edward's glare. "I mean, in all seriousness, shouldn't we be shopping for a _suit_ for you, first? Since Roy has his, and all…"

Ed sighed at the reminder that he _still_ didn't know what he was going to be wearing when he got married. It was just, he hadn't seen anything he really liked…he wanted (though he would never admit it aloud) that magical moment when he fell in love with his outfit—after all, he wanted to feel spectacular on his wedding day. And so far, all the suits seemed so…blah. Nothing inspired a spark in him. Brushing Alphonse off, Edward merely replied, "I'll get some inspiration from today, don't worry."

Leaving no room for retort, Ed pushed open the doors to the store and walked inside, immediately running over to a rack of white suits. With Roy in black, Al couldn't very well wear the same color…

"Uh, Brother, shouldn't you be the one wearing white?"

Edward snorted as he began going through the jackets. "White is for virgins, Alphonse." He spared a glance back to assess the impact of that statement and was pleased to see that Al was bright red.

"A-are you insinuating that I'm a virgin?" he stammered.

"Maybe." Ed turned to look at his brother. "But mostly I'm just saying I've in no way earned the right to wear white."

"Yeah, well, you could anyway…"

Edward waved him off and kept looking at the rack, speaking in a rush. "Look, your options are pretty much silver and white, I think blue might be a little too much, especially since Roy's wearing mainly black and blue and blue's such an intense color, and I want to keep the scheme fairly limited so everything matches, so hush."

There was silence in the room for a moment as the trio went about looking for a suit for Al. Then Roy spoke up. "Ed, this is going to sound stupid, but how formal are you wanting to be?"

Edward turned, eyebrows raised to see Roy holding something behind his back. "Considering it's our wedding, you mean…?"

The man laughed. "Okay, yeah, I know, but what if Al wasn't wearing a jacket, just the dress shirt, tie, and vest?" As he spoke, he pulled out a vaguely shiny, silver waistcoat. "I know it would be a lot of black, but this would look really great against a black shirt, and with a blue tie? That way it's kind of the reverse of me, cause I've got a blue shirt and silver tie…"

Now thinking, Ed brought a finger to his mouth and crossed his arms. "I like it…but you're right, I am concerned about all the black."

Alphonse looked back and forth between them. "Do you two see yourselves right now?"

He was ignored. "We could hold it up against a black suit, yeah?" Roy suggested. "See how it works?"

"Yeah, okay," Edward agreed, heading further back into the store. "Did you find a black shirt?" he called back.

"Yup."

Ed scanned the room, quickly spotting a black jacket that had accidentally been thrown into a room of navy. Whatever, that wasn't his problem—he pulled it down off the rack and turned back to see Roy wrestling a dress shirt into the vest.

"Sorry," the man muttered. "I wanted to get an idea—there!" Successful, he held up the set.

"Here, Al, hold this," Ed instructed, handing his brother the jacket and examining them side by side. "It's still a lot of black…but you're right, that _does_ looks pretty perfect…I just want it to be clear that Al's the best man, and _you're_ the groom."

"Well, if I'm the only one wearing a full out tux, that should be clear enough, right?"

"Do I get any say in this?" Alphonse asked.

"Nope," Edward answered, sticking his tongue out. "But you can go try it on, I'll try to find you a tie to match…"

Roy handed over the waistcoat and shirt to Al, while the latter rolled his eyes. Still, he didn't complain as he headed into a dressing room.

"You're not going to let him say no, are you?" Roy murmured, sliding close to Ed.

"Nope," Edward said again. "You were spot on, it looks great. Besides, it's not like it won't fit him or look good, it's just a typical dressy outfit, right? Nothing special that would complicate anything. I just couldn't leave here without making him try something on."

"I heard that, Brother!" Al shouted, his voice muffled as it came through the door.

"Oops," Ed drawled, not remotely sorry.

"Al's right, though," Roy decided abruptly. "We've got to get you figured out now."

Edward barely suppressed a groan. He _knew_. "We'll get Gracia settled first—"

"Ed, you can't just put it off.

"I get it, okay?" Edward complained. "But it's hard. You've worn suits before, you look fucking fabulous in a tux, and you're all super confident. With me, it just feels weird. I—"

"Um, not to interrupt this conversation," Al began carefully. "But do you want to know how this looks or don't you?"

Glad for the distraction, Ed turned to his brother, an approving grin creeping onto his face. "Perfect. Roy, you should have gone into fashion."

Beside him, Roy pushed his hip out to the side, posing ridiculously. "Really? I think modeling's more my thing, personally…" With that, he broke into a ridiculous walk, sashaying and strutting across the room. Edward giggled, torn between amusement and a weird sort of approval.

"I swear I will walk out on you!" Alphonse threatened, turning away and acting sick, though Ed could see him holding back laughter.

"Go ahead, we have the outfit picked out, we don't need you," Edward replied, sticking his tongue out as Roy came back from the opposite end of the room.

"What's wrong, Al, don't like my walk?"

"Not particularly, no…"

Letting out a last laugh at Roy's fake pout, Ed motioned for Alphonse to go back into the dressing room. "Go on, get out of those clothes so we can buy them."

Al did as he was bid, rolling his eyes as Edward wrapped his arms around Roy's middle.

"So," the man asked, tone conversational. "Did _you_ like my walk?"

"Very much," Ed whispered, butting his head into Roy's ribs. "How come you've never shown me before?"

"Well, I have to keep _some_ things a surprise. It'd be boring if you knew everything about me." Roy brought his hand up and around to run a finger along Edward's jaw.

"'Kay guys, I'm ready," Alphonse said, coming out of the changing room. "Let's get going before you two can continue this conversation, alright?"

* * *

Edward was almost asleep when Roy murmured his name. Moaning a yawn, Ed rolled over so that he was facing the man. "Hm?"

"I'm…concerned."

Blinking a little, Edward looked up to see Roy's face in the dim light. "Why?"

"Because of your clothing situation for the wedding—now, hear me out!" the man added hastily as Ed rolled his eyes, huffing. "I know it means a lot to you to be getting married, and I've never been more excited for anything…but I want you to be happy. And I don't think you can be like that unless you're comfortable with what you're wearing."

Edward shifted, uncomfortable with how true that was. "It'll work itself out, Roy."

"You don't really believe that."

"Fine, I don't, okay?" Ed paused. "But what am I supposed to do? I just have to keep trying suits until I find one that works."

"No," Roy said slowly. "You don't."

Edward didn't dare to ask, merely looking at the man, waiting for him to explain.

"Ed…you could just wear a dress."

Edward sat up, gritting his teeth against the swirl of emotions inside of him. He couldn't look at Roy. "You're really serious, aren't you?"

"Well, yeah. I know it sounds stupid, but you love that dress show, don't deny it, and I thought maybe you would actually prefer that to a suit—"

"No!" Ed snarled. "I get it, I'm not stupid—you wish I was some fucking girl, right? You love me but deep down inside you want a woman, don't you? To see me in a dress and pretty, well if I'm that much of a problem—"

"Edward Elric, calm down!" Roy shouted, sitting up as well and grabbing Ed's face so that they were eye to eye. "That has nothing to do with it. I've told you over and over, I'd never want you to be a girl." Edward sniffed, angry tears threatening to spill out of his eyes. That was bullshit. "I mean it, Ed!" Roy insisted, seeming to read Edward's mind. "No girl could ever be what you are to me, there's no way I could ever feel the same way about a lady. And you _know_ I think you're gorgeous, hell, half of my day is spent trying to not get too close to you in public because it's just so hard to help myself from running my hands all over you."

"You sound like an idiot," Ed hiccupped.

"Well, so do you. Do I think you would be hot as hell in a dress? Yeah, but you always are. I just think you would enjoy it."

Edward refused, flat out, to even entertain that possibility—though, it was impossible to prevent the brief flash in his mind of himself in a white dress…Okay, fine, fuck trying to pretend, he wasn't entirely opposed to the idea. Because Roy was right, he loved wedding gowns, they were breathtaking and pretty much the icing on the wedding cake. There was still a problem, though. "Roy, I'll wear a dress for you any other time. Really, I will. But I can't—not to the wedding—there's going to be so many people!"

The man was silent for a moment, moving his hands up to rest on Edward's upper arms. "For just a moment, Ed, pretend we were, I dunno, eloping. It's just you, me, and the minister. Would you wear a dress then?"

Flushing darkly, Edward only muttered his answer. "Yeah, probably."

"So do it."

"It's not that simple—"

"It is!" Roy's face was determined, eyes shining even in the darkness. "This is your day, Ed. Fuck everyone else. If you want to wear a dress—and I think somewhere in your mind you know that's _exactly_ what you want, which is why the suits all feel wrong to you—then do it. They don't matter. If anyone laughs, you can kick 'em where it hurts and throw them out the door."

"We'd end up with no guests."

"Ed, I'll go around and tell people I'll have to demote them or something if they laugh. You do what you want."

Edward's heart was pounding in his ears. This was beyond embarrassing—the idea of wearing _girls' clothing_ in front of so many people was terrifying, and fear wasn't an emotion Ed was overly used to. But at the same time…the tuxes were _so_ bad. He opened his mouth, but couldn't speak; he coughed, and tried again. "I'm not promising anything."

Lips crashed against his own, excitement conveyed through a kiss. "So you'll at least try to find one?" Roy confirmed, breathless, as they broke apart.

"Yeah, I'll go looking." Ed felt a strange mixture of emotions as he spoke, like he was dancing in a meadow next to someone digging his grave. He lowered himself back onto the bed, snuggling quietly into Roy's hug.

It wasn't until the man's breathing had (finally!) calmed that Edward spoke. "Roy?"

Just as he expected, Roy was groggy. "Wha'?"

"If I wear a dress, be forewarned…I'm doing this my way."


	12. Chapter 12

Regardless of the fact that he had a busy day ahead (Ed had decided to cram both ring _and_ dress shopping into the same day), Edward couldn't deal with waking up early.

He shuffled into the kitchen, yawning with his hand stretched out. "Energy drink…"

Roy, who was already sitting at the table with his cup of coffee, rolled his eyes and got up to dig in the fridge. "It would take you two seconds to get it yourself."

Edward stuck his tongue out, plopping down in the chair opposite Roy's spot. "Do you know how bad you would feel if I walked to the fridge, but was tired and disoriented and hit myself on the head opening it?"

"With anyone else, that wouldn't be possible—but with you, anything is. Hence why I put up with this shit." Roy slid the can across the table and sat back down, sighing in content after a sip of coffee.

"Thanks," Ed murmured, suppressing a yawn and popping the top. The second the liquid hit his lips, his tiredness melted away and he grinned. "_So_ much better now."

"I will never understand how that crap does that to you," Roy muttered, shaking his head. "You realize the store doesn't open for another half an hour? You could have just woken up normally."

Edward shrugged helplessly. "This is more exciting. Besides, I need to get a quick shower."

"Hmm, right, gotta be prepared to try on dresses today," Roy teased, a smile creeping across his face.

"Hey, remember that I can nip this dress thing in the bud whenever I want. Don't be so confident about it," Ed warned, downing half of the rest of the can in one gulp. "Also: you're not coming." Roy had been arguing with him all week about that, ever since Edward agreed to at least try on some dresses.

"Aw, c'mon," the man whined.

"No," Ed responded flatly. "Absolutely not. If I have to wear a dress, you have to wait to see it just like every other groom in the world." Roy stuck out his lower lip, pouting silently. "Don't give me that face, you asked for it."

"Yeah," Roy agreed, his mope quickly transforming into a grin. "I guess I did, didn't I?"

Unable to keep a smile off his own face, Edward tried to hide it by swallowing the last of his energy drink. "I'm going to go take a shower."

"Can I come?"

Halfway to the door, Ed paused and looked over his shoulder, his expression falling somewhere in between coy and cheeky. "I have an appointment I can't be late for, so no. But I expect to find you here, ready and waiting, when I come home tonight."

* * *

There is something about sparkly, shiny things that fascinates human beings, regardless of gender. The light reflecting off some precious metal or gemstone, or even something as mundane as sequins—it makes a person excited, it draws them in. Women may be more open about it, but this otherworldly attraction exists between shimmer and all sexes equally.

Which was why Edward really wasn't the slightest bit ashamed to be freaking out in the jewelry store.

"Roy," he breathed, eyes wide as he grabbed onto said man's sleeve. "Roy everything is so fucking _shiny_."

"That's kind of the point of a jewelry store, Ed…" Roy murmured back, looking like he was unsure whether he should be laughing or not.

Ignoring this comment, Edward zeroed in on the case of rings that stretched along one long wall of the store. Without speaking, he pulled Roy over and began to examine some of the bands. "Ah, there's so many to choose from…"

As though his words had been a cue, a sales assistant popped up out of nowhere. "Hello, gentlemen, can I help you?"

Ed was on the verge of saying they could handle it when Roy answered for him. "Yeah, we're looking for some wedding rings."

The assistant clapped her hands together. "Oh, you two are getting married? That's so exciting, congratulations!"

Despite not asking for her help, Edward couldn't help grin at the woman as Roy put his arm around him. "Thanks!"

"So, wedding rings." Just as quickly as she had gotten excited, the sales assistant turned serious. "Is there anything in particular you're looking for?" Ed glanced at Roy, who was staring back at him with a blank expression. "I guess not…let me make this easy. We'll start with the color: gold, silver, or a mixture?"

"Silver," Roy responded instantly. Edward raised his eyebrows. "What? You're going to want silver to match all the wedding decorations; I know you, two little gold specks with all that silver would irritate you to no end, even if they were the rings."

"Okay, fine," Ed sighed in defeat, sticking his tongue out momentarily. "You're right. Silver it is."

"That's good," the woman began. "All the silver rings are right here. Are you two looking for plain bands, or do you want some stones…?"

"I don't know," Edward murmured slowly, bending over to examine the case. "Plain bands are more traditional, but at this point I can't tell if we're sticking to tradition or trampling all over it, so that's kind of irrelevant…"

"I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand what you mean." For the first time, the assistant seemed unsure. Meanwhile, Roy, who was now bent over beside him, was chuckling silently.

"Nothing, it's a long story. Roy, what do you think?"

"Well, your engagement ring is already on the flashier side, so maybe something plain would be better. I don't mind something simple, either."

Ed glanced at his hand, smiling faintly. "True—what about this?" he asked suddenly, pointing to a ring in the corner that had caught his eye. It was silver and polished like the rest, but rather than being rectangular all around, the two ends came together as triangles, connected only by a single point. "That's kind of interesting."

He looked up to see Roy nodding his head. "Can we try that one?"

"Certainly," the sales assistant said, beaming as she pulled it out of the case and slid it carefully across the glass. Roy picked it up to inspect it before handing it to Edward. "Look at the inside."

Confused, Ed tilted the ring so that he could see the inside of the band. In tiny black writing it said: _Your Inscription Here_.

"So would could put our own inscription on it? That'd be cool…" Edward slipped the ring over his finger easily, and it settled loosely over the base. "It's a little big, but I get the idea…I like this one." Ed held out his hand to Roy. "Here, you try."

Roy took the ring from him and put it on—on him, it was snug. "Yeah, it's a little different, but nice all the same."

"But what would we put in as the inscription?" Ed asked.

The man pondered this, but suddenly his face became blank. "Ed, do you trust me?"

What was that about? Edward frowned. "Yeah, but—"

"Then let me surprise you with the inscription."

Ed's mouth fell open. He wasn't upset, really—just surprised. Roy's expression was earnest and excited now. Whatever his idea was, it must be good. Smiling, Edward responded simply, "Alright, then."

Grinning, Roy turned to the bemused assistant. "I'll need two of these. Can you do the inscription when I pick them up?"

"Sure?"

"Awesome, thank you."

Edward watched as Roy finished up, pulling out his wallet to put a deposit down for the ring. He had a sneaking suspicion this surprise with the rings was Roy's way of getting back at him for not letting him see the dress—if and when he picked one out. That was exactly the sort of thing Roy would try to pull.

Still, as far as revenges went, Ed thought this one was pretty sweet.


	13. Chapter 13

Two words: dress shopping.

Despite his reservations, Edward couldn't deny that this was going to be fucking fantastic. Like…not the trying on dresses part. That was probably going to be weird and upsetting and all kinds of shit. But just being _around_ the dresses would be awesome—all the designs….

"Brother, come back to Earth. I think you're enjoying this a little bit too much…"

Ed's daydreams popped like a bubble as he came back to the real world, walking down the street with his brother. He sighed, glaring sideways at Alphonse. "Stop. Seriously, don't do that to me. The teasing." It went against his usual MO to ask for his brother to stop rather than fighting back, but Edward didn't have it in him at the moment. This was _Al_. If his own flesh and blood was going to make fun of him, how was he supposed to handle everyone else at the wedding?

Why had he agreed to this again?

"Sorry, Brother," Alphonse murmured after a moment, taking in Edward's nervous expression. "You know I don't mean it. I'm just still confused."

"Yeah, well, so am I."

"Brother…?" Al began hesitantly. "You…you know you don't have to do this right? I mean—if you don't want to…Roy isn't _forcing_ you, or anything—?"

"No!" Ed shouted, shocked. "No, shit, you know he wouldn't do that."

"Well, no, I didn't think so, but you seem so freaked about this," Alphonse explained gently. "And you said Roy seemed into you wearing a dress, so I didn't know if he was pushing you…"

Absurdly, guilt washed over Edward. Yeah, he was nervous about this, but he didn't want that to make people think Roy was being abusive or something crazy like that. "Not at all. I mean, yeah, he's excited, but he's more worried about making sure I enjoy what I'm wearing than anything."

"So…he thinks you'll be happier in a dress than a tux?" Al asked, incredulously. He didn't wait for an answer, skipping straight to the next question. "Is he _right_?"

Considering Ed had a hard time admitting that he just might want to wear a dress to himself and Roy, he didn't even try to respond to his brother. "Just, try to be nice, okay? This isn't the easiest thing I've ever done."

"You know I'm the nice brother, right? No problem."

Edward rolled his eyes as they came up on the bridal store, took a deep breath, and opened the door.

His eyes were flooded with white, exemplified by the bright lights shining along the walls. The receptionist's desk was just across the room, but suddenly Ed couldn't seem to make himself walk forward. Oh shit. He was really doing this.

Alphonse seemed to realize he couldn't go up himself and sighed, stepping forward. "Hi, my brother has an appointment to—to try on dresses today?"

Swallowing hard, Edward waited for the woman's reaction—she looked like the severe type—but she made no comment, only raised her eyebrows. "Edward Elric?"

Ed nodded meekly. "You're just up the stairs, with Mina. Unless you'd prefer a male assistant…?"

It was Edward's turn to raise his eyebrows. "No, I'm good, thanks." Really, did it matter? His junk was going to be covered anyway. And he could kick the ass of anyone, regardless of gender, who tried anything funny. He turned away and headed up the stairs, his anxiety returning with every step.

He reached the top, only to find a short woman beaming at him. "Edward?" she asked pleasantly.

"Yeah, hi…" he managed. What the actual fuck? He never got nervous like this. The situation was, obviously, unusual, but Ed had hoped he'd be a little tougher than he was. Sigh.

"I'm Mina, I'll be helping you out today." Mina smiled brightly at him. "And who's this?"

"Oh, that's my brother, Al."

"Hi!" Alphonse piped up.

Another broad smile. At least she wasn't acting freaked out by Edward's situation. "Excellent. Now, we'll be working over there—" she gestured to the far side of the floor with her hand, where there was a small raised platform surrounded by mirrors. "Is there anything in particular you're looking for?"

"Real fast, actually, I have a question," Ed interjected, looking where Mina indicated. Or, more specifically, at the open window right by his station. "Can we close that window?"

Mina looked surprised. "Why?"

"Because any minute my fiancé is going to be peering in that window trying to get a sneak peak," Edward muttered, rolling his eyes.

"But," Mina began, "we're on the second floor, there's no—"

Edward cut her off. "Trust me. He has his ways."

The woman shook her head, laughing lightly. "Well, all right. I'll pull down the blinds."

"Thanks."

A muffled voice called out. "Brother! How about this one?"

Ed whipped his head around, but Alphonse was no longer just behind him. He sighed, calling out, "Where'd you even go, Al?"

Even as he did so, his brother came out from amongst an aisle of dresses, a ball gown slung over his shoulder. Edward suddenly felt faint.

"Whoa!" Mina shouted, alarmed, placing a hand on Ed's shoulder to steady him. "You okay?"

"Yeah, fucking swell," Ed mumbled. He shook his head. "Al, what the hell?"

"Well, I don't know what you're looking for, Brother!" Alphonse insisted defensively.

"Not _that_. I need to be able to move without knocking everything over. Do you even _see_ the skirt on that thing?" Edward shuddered. "This is terrifying."

"Okay, well, that at least narrows it down to more slim dresses," Mina chirped, seemingly undaunted by Ed's little spaz attack. "But if you want to move, I take it mermaid or trumpet dresses are going to be a little too restrictive for you…?"

Edward took a deep breath, considering. "Yeah, I've got to have room to kick some ass if I have to." Mina didn't comment. She really was amazingly professional about this. "Besides, they're best suited to curvy girls, right? Like, they show off the hips. I'm a guy, I'm more or less rectangular."

"Nah, Brother, you've got a waist at least," Alphonse put in.

"Actually, I agree with Al, you obviously don't have breasts and not much in the way of hips, but you do have a slimmer waist, so that'll be good," Mina added.

This was like a dream—Ed honestly couldn't believe he was having this conversation. He shrugged. "If you say so. I guess I might as well try a mermaid on—I still think it'll be too tight, but at this point it's not like I have to be worried about my dignity."

Mina seemed to realize he wasn't genuinely upset; she laughed. "Okay, so what about the style? Do you like lace, stones, beading, something plainer…?"

"Definitely not lace, that's _way_ too old school. The wedding theme is stars, though, so I guess stones or beads could be okay…but nothing too intense. Please."

"Sure thing—how about you guys take the left half of the room, I'll take the right, and we'll see what we come up with?" Mina suggested. "These are all samples; we have the actual sizes in storage, so you don't have to worry about that just yet."

"Alright," Ed agreed. "Come on, Al."

Alphonse, however, had already disappeared back into the racks.

Sighing good-naturedly, Edward followed suit. It was a little hard to tell where one dress ended and the next began, but he soon got the hang of it. The real trouble was the dresses themselves.

It was just so hard to picture himself in a dress. Ed could look at one and think that it was a work of art, but when he tried to think of how it would look on him, he was completely lost as to what to think. At the very least, he was able to rule out immediately anything that had a corset or built-in bra—he had zero use for those additions.

By the time he headed over to his designated station, Edward was only carrying two dresses: one a long, strapless satin A-line with sparkling beads swirling along the bottom, and the other an empire waist with a beaded top and a slight flare to the lower portion. However, when Alphonse came staggering along, he was carrying closer to ten.

"Suddenly I think _you're_ the one having too much fun, Al," Ed muttered reproachfully.

His brother only smiled. "Well, I gotta have you looking good on your big day!"

They only had to wait a short while for Mina, who had grabbed six dresses. "Whoo, looks like we have quite a lot of work ahead of us! Want to try your picks first?"

It wasn't like Ed was convinced he had chosen better than anyone else, but that seemed like as good a starting point as any, so he nodded and was whisked into the dressing room behind the mirrors.

As soon as the door closed, Edward began stripping. Mina laughed. "You're not too shy, are you?"

Ed shrugged. "Not around girls. I guess it's just a little backwards, but since I like guys, getting mostly naked with them around feels a lot stranger than with you. I mean, would you feel comfortable stripping around other women?"

"Well, more comfortable than around men, anyway," Mina conceded. "That's interesting. Okay, so, which one do you prefer?"

"Either one, really—I can't even begin to imagine what these will look like on me, so I couldn't say which I like better."

"Granted. Let's do the empire waist."

It was a bit of an awkward affair. Edward, not used to how to put dresses on, nearly fell as he stepped into it. "Sorry, sorry!"

"No need to be sorry, Edward," Mina soothed. "This is your first time wearing a gown, isn't it? You don't typically cross-dress." The last bit was an assumption, a statement, not a question.

"Right," Ed admitted. "I've never done this before."

Mina paused a moment, hiking the dress up to his chest. "If you don't mind me asking…if this isn't generally your thing, what made you decide to wear a wedding dress? I mean, you could still get married in a tuxedo…"

Maybe it was because he knew he wouldn't ever have to see Mina again, but Edward found it easier to discuss with her. "Well, my fiancé, Roy, he was worried because I've tried on a few tuxes and it just hasn't felt right. So he kind of nudged me this direction, told me that I should try a dress and if I liked it, everyone else can screw themselves."

Ed could imagine Mina nodding earnestly as she zipped up the back of his dress. "He's right, you know. This is your big day, and anyone mean enough to make fun of your decisions shouldn't be coming."

"Yeah, hence why I'm here. Still…I'm nervous."

His dress was on, so Edward turned around as Mina asked, "About what?"

"What everyone will think. I know they care, but a lot of the people I know tend to show their affection by teasing me. And I do it too, so it's usually not a problem, but in this case…I don't think I can take it."

Mina placed a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, as long as you've got your guy, you'll be too happy to notice them. Trust me."

Edward grinned back at her as she continued. "Now, you want to go take a look?"

With a deep breath, he nodded, and stepped forward—_carefully. _The length of this thing, and the lack of give when he walked…it was strange.

How did girls do this full time?

Ed pushed open the door to his changing room and walked around the mirrors. He'd barely stuck a bare foot out from behind the setup before Alphonse gasped. One step later and Edward could see his brother's face, a medley of confusion, surprise, and what-the-fuck. It wasn't the most encouraging expression. Still, steeling himself, Ed managed the two steps onto the platform and (with a deep breath), looked up and into the mirror.

"I've got to lose the braid." Mina let out a trill of laughter. Well, admittedly, that probably shouldn't have been the first thing he noticed, but really, the gown and casual braid combo was all wrong. Besides that, Edward was having trouble focusing on the dress itself. It was…unusual. Not in a good way. Something about the beaded top brought too much attention to his nonexistent boobs. "Other than that, this is…."

"Wrong," Alphonse finished.

"I think the problem is the top," Mina interjected. "It's made to enhance breasts, but it just doesn't quite work with…no foundation."

Ed laughed. For some reason, now that he was actually looking at himself in a dress, the nerves had all but washed away. The situation was more comedic that anything at this point. "Okay, so this is a no go. Let me fix my hair real quick." With practiced efficiency, Edward undid his braid, running fingers through his hair to straighten it out. He glanced in the mirror. "Whoa, okay, hair down is even worse."

"Try a ponytail, Brother," Al suggested.

Edward did so with deft hands, turning his head back and forth when he was done. "Much better. You don't think it's too casual, do you, Al?"

"Not really, considering you're wearing a dress."

"Awesome."

Mina rolled her eyes. "Next dress, then?"

Nodding, Ed pulled the gown up and leaned over so he could watch his feet as he stepped down from the platform and back around into the changing room.

"Okay, so, after seeing that, what do you think will look good on me?" Edward asked as he stepped out of the dress.

"To be honest, I'm not sure. Each dress is so different, and every one of them is going to fit every person differently. So we'll just have to try them all," Mina responded, holding out the A-line for him to try.

"I was afraid you were going to say that," Ed sighed.

The A-line was easier to get on, just because Edward knew (sort of) what to expect this time. However, it had a lace-up back (something that had slipped his notice earlier), and so Ed found himself spending an uncomfortable minute bracing himself on the wall as Mina tied it up.

Then it was back out to the mirror, and Alphonse (perhaps better prepared this time around) was full of opinion.

"It's not bad shape wise, but it needs to have more sparkle. After all, your theme is stars, you should have a little more shine, you know?"

Ed tilted his head to the side. "Fair point. I don't know how I feel, with this and the last, about strapless. Do you think it draws too much attention to the fact that I'm tit-less?"

Alphonse snorted at his phrasing, while Mina took the question seriously. "You know, I was thinking about that. You're muscular too, not like, _huge_, but you've definitely got pecs, which makes it kinda weird…"

"So, let's not do strapless," Edward decided.

They went through the massive pile of dresses to be tried on, tossing out any that lacked at least straps, as well as one that had a shockingly low neckline.

Then came the business of trying them all on.

Ed tried a mermaid (which was so tight to his body he felt like he couldn't breathe), more A-lines, one with long sleeves (which didn't fit his arm muscles at _all_), a flowy gown with too much wispiness, and even a ball gown out of sheer exasperation. And none of them were quite right.

Exhausted and back in his own clothes for a moment, Edward exhaled heavily as he plopped into a chair beside Alphonse. "This is hard," he moaned.

"Maybe you should just go with the tux, Brother," Al suggested.

Ed averted his eyes. The truth was, the more dresses he tried on, the less he wanted to wear a suit to his wedding. Even though all of the gowns were just _wrong_, somehow.

"No, no, no!" Mina insisted. "I think—I mean, I don't know, but we might as well try—just one more!" And with that confusing sentence, she ran off.

Edward let his head loll back off the chair. "This is ridiculous." He glanced over at Alphonse—his brother seemed to be debating whether to speak or not. Just as he opened his mouth, Mina came back.

"Here, how about this one?"

The dress she held up was short. Ed hadn't tried on a short dress—it didn't feel very formal. But this one was pretty, he had to admit that. It had a high neck with no sleeves, and was overlaid with some sort of sheer, sparkly material. The bottom flared out just slightly and had a line of rhinestones along the base.

Pulling himself out of his chair, Edward responded simply, "Let's do this."

In trying it on, Ed's first response was a return of his nerves. This shorter dress came down to his knees, but nevertheless made him feel quite exposed. The plus side to the length was that it was _much_ easier to move in than any of the previous gowns.

"Ready?" Mina asked, zipping him up. "I think you'll like this one."

"Yup."

Edward strode out of the dressing room, heart thumping. If this didn't work…he'd be back to square one: tuxedos. And in all honesty, he didn't want that.

When he came into view, Alphonse whistled. Encouraged, Ed stepped up and looked in the mirror.

"Damn." No one else said a word, merely watched Edward turning around and examining himself. "This is so fucked up."

Al broke the spell, choking out his laughter. "You like it, don't you, Brother?"

Ed sighed lightly, unable to stop from smiling. "You could say that." Really, on him the dress was pretty much perfect, hiding the uppermost portions of his chest that had been giving him problems, and flaring out neatly along his hips.

Mina clapped her hands. "So? You want to buy this one?"

"Yeah, just let me make a quick phone call." Edward stepped down off the platform and motioned for Al to hand him his cell. He flipped the phone open and dialed.

Roy answered almost immediately. "Hello?"

"I've had a hell of a day, so if you could order some pizza or something and be ready for _dessert_ later, that'd be great," Ed said quickly, Mina laughing and Alphonse shaking his head. "And by the way, I'm buying a dress." Edward clapped a hand over his mouth to suppress his giggles as Roy let out a triumphant shout on the other end of the line. "Love you, buh-bye."

Ed turned around, grinning as he ended the call. Al smiled back, looking exasperated. "Brother…you really are one of a kind."


End file.
